I Hate The Raptors*

Marco Belinelli Is As Soft As Pasta .

2009-07-30T12:23:00.012-04:00

Colangelo strikes again . Yup , another softie is with the Raps in the person of Marco Belinelli. A European and a true blooded paisano at that . The Belinelli who is coach Nellie's reject ! He who pretends to be a basketball player but is actually as fake as lipsynching Milli Vanilli ! Several summers ago , Marco Belinelli impressed every basketball fan when he shot the lights out of the arena with an impressive shooting in the summer league . Come the regular season , the Italian Stallion , so named because he looks like Slyvester Stallone , was as tame as Sylvester the cat spending a lot of time on the bench... napping . Well , something like that with his sleepy Stalloney eyes . Why do you think Marco Belinelli , the cat , found himself in Nellie's doghouse ? Because Marco Belinelli is a one dimensional basketball player ... not 3D . He has no defence (1) , no dedication to the game (2) and no discussion . An NBA player must keep himself in the pubic hair , I meant , public air . Look at Dennis Rodman . The Worm managed to stay in the limelight during his playing days by creating every oppotunity to bee talked about always . Stay relevant , Marco . Do something to capture the fans' attention . You should have dated the Warriors' #1 fan , Jessica Alba or suck up to # 1 taxpayer in SF and Oracle boss Ellison or be like your Prime Minister . Silvio Berlusconi . That dude can rock and roll with young chicks . Silvio is as hard as a rock while Marco is as soft as pasta . What do you expect from a GM named Bryan ColanJello , err ... I mean , Colangelo !

Kobe Picks Manny Pacquiao.

2009-07-21T14:33:00.006-04:00

That is what NBA champion Kobe Bryant of the Lakers said when asked during the of press con at the start of Nike's tour of 6 Asian countries . So what is Kobe Bryan Colangelo waiting for ? In my last posting , I put forward the idea of the Raptors recruiting Filipino Manny Pacquiao to join the team. For equal representation and much needed toughness. If one look closely at nationalities of the fans of the team , half of them are Asians. A lot of Asian terrorists .. er .. I mean , Asian tourists , look forward to watching an NBA game when they are in Toronto . Considering Manny is a big hero all over Asia , his joining the Raps roster will result in the sprouting of TO Raptors fans clubs all over in Asia. From the boondocks of Mymmar to terrorist camps in southern Philippines. Why not ? The rebels in the Philippines reportedly stop fighting government forces whenever Manny has a fight . I can just see North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il , who is ill right now , shifting his allegiance to Manny from his long time idol Michael Jordan . Might be that the recently beaten Sri Lankan freedom fighters , the Tamil Tigers , will resurface as the Tamil Raptors . Bryan , just do it ! Everybody is doing it as you can see in the video.

Raptors Is Still A Soft Team !

2009-07-16T15:47:00.008-04:00

That's the conclusion I made after looking at the lineup of the Toronto Raptors.....absolutely lacking in the toughness department. Despite BC's announcement that he will make the team lose its nice image , the Raps are still , well , nice. Let's look at the significant additions to the line up : Turkaglu is as soft as a Charmin tissue paper . Hedo was making `nice conversiations' with Kobe during the Finals . Maybe the 2 are talking about the Turkish bath they frequent . Fool . Obviously , Hedo is not aware of the Bill Russel technique that Kobe was using on him. Be nice to your enemies so that they will lose their edge. Hedo T. is really Shedo Turkaglu ! And this so called nasty guy Reggie Evans . Evans is what Bad Boy Oakley refers to as a tough guy wanna be . Evans whos claim to toughness was him grabbing Clip Kaman's nuts during a rebound play when he was still a member of the Denver Nuggets. He's like the Soprano character , Vito. , a homo gangster . Evans a baller who like balls ! Otherwise , why did he went nuts with another baller's nuts. Just look at the photo of Evans on the right . He is like a gay Taliban fighter ! Evans should join Richard Dick Jefferson in Paris. The other new Raptors are Davean 'Boy' George and Antoine 'To the Right To the' Wright . Complete sissies if you ask me. Homos . Homo sapiens !
BC should look at one of last night`s ESPY awardee . The recipient of the Best Fighter award , Manny Pacquiao. I know the pound for pound King of Boxing is a favorite of NBA players like Agent Zero, Dooling, David West, the Celtics Big 3 and others. Just google it . Pacman , the newest endorser of Nike to join Kobe and other sports superstars , would be pounding the ball instead of pounding the mitts if not for his tremendous success as a boxer . There you go BC . An Asian baller who is a certified tough guy . Just watch this video. Enjoy you homos !

Wanted : Asian Baller For The Raptors

2009-07-13T15:09:00.006-04:00

I wonder why despite of the Raptors' continuing move of using international players , B Colangelo has not recruited an Asian baller . Oh I forgot . Foreign players mean European hoopters . Discrimination ? Look at the LA Lakers . They have a Chinese player . He is Sue Yue , a 6'9" PG called the Magic Johnson of China. Remember Yuta Tabuse the Michael Jordan of Japan ? The 5'9" PG suited up for the Phoenix Suns in the '04 season. Tabuse's NBA stint created super media attention in sports crazy Japan . Not as huge as baseball's Suzuki of the Mariners or Boston's Matsuzaka but huge nevertheless. This season , the Suns has another Japanese player , T. Kawamura , included in their summer league team. Wake up BC ! Not only Italians or pizza lovers are hoops followers. Even sushi eaters are fans of basketball . Just take a look at the exploding number of sushi restos now in TO . Sushi snack pack are even sold inside Air Canada . It will be a matter of time before the Raptors offer free sushis , instead of pizzas , if the team's score 100 points !
It will be wise for MLSE tap TO's growing Asian population . Even the Maple Leafs have their #1 draft pick this year who's parents are originally from Lebanon. For those who are not good in geography , the Middle East is part of Asia. The NBA's doormat , Memphis , has a 7 '2" giant from Iran , Ahmed Hadai , playing .. err.. warming their bench since last season. I'm not sure if Hadadi is called the something something of Iran . Maybe , the Rafael Araujo of Iran ! But I would zero in on the exploding Asian-Chinese immigrant population if I am BC. The number of Chinese owned malls in TO is testament to the purchasing power of this sector of the population. Yeah , I am all for that . BC needs to be Sinocentric instead of Eurocentric. Rather than adding to the team the Pacers' Jarrett Jack , get Jackie Chan instead. Then perhaps , if the score reaches 100 points , the Raps will give away free spring rolls ! yum , yum , yum .

Raptors Headlines

2009-07-06T14:43:00.009-04:00

Last week proved to be an very interesting one for basketball lovers this side of the globe. Just look at what the writers wrote about what are happenning as far as the Raptors are concern ..and of course my reactions to the news :

1. Hoopshype : Jose Manuel Calderon : ' We are not that far away '.
Moi say : Si , senor Jose . Madrid is also.... not that far away from Toronto .

2. Toronto Star's Doug Smith : ' Toronto Factor ' seals the deal for new Raptor .
Moi say : What ? Not the $53 million that he will receive in 5 years !

3. Globe & Mail's Jeff Blair : Turgalou's signing should be celebrated
Moi say : Hooray ! Rejoice Raps fans ...we just won the NBA championship !

4. National Post's : Report : Turkoglou will join the Raptors
Moi say : ...and his wife will join Harper's Conservative party !

Breaking news... B.C. signs another European player to wear the red and black uniform of the Raptors. Who is this player ? Click here.

Pacers Becoming More White ; B.C.Turning White !

2009-07-04T16:04:00.014-04:00

Larry Bird continues to recruit white leg horn players while cutting the bad and the ugly black ones i.e Tinsley and Daniels. His latest acquisition is Tyler Hansbrough, a ballplayer as white as snow. ' Hansbrough reminds me of myself ' said Larry Legend in the press conference introducing T.H.. Not really . You see , the Pacers' 1st round draft choice in this year's draft is the son of a Doctor while Larry is the son ... delivered by a Doctor. Stupid ! Larry meant playalike ! Of course. Tyler plays hard every game . Like Larry , everybody says that Tyler can't jump, is too slow and probadly don't know how to rap .With Tyler's addition, there are now 6 white players ,who are not members of the KKK , in the Pacers' lineup. Cool . Indiana has the most number of white players in one NBA team. There is Dunleavy , Murphy , Foster , Diener , Rasho , Mc Roberts and now Tyler ! Tsk,tsk. If Michael Jackson , who was from Indiana , opted to thrill us by playing basketball instead of moonwalking , the Pacers will be truly white !
Here in Toronto , B.C. is busy with his Europeanization of the Raptors' line up . Fresh addition to the team is Turkey's Hedo Turkoglu . One report said that Hedo chose TO because of its large immigrant population from Turkey . Hmm . Not sure about that . I know that there are gazilion turkeys and chickenshits from everywhere living in TO and not only from Turkey ! Desperate move by Colangelo ? Certainly . If the Raps failed to enter the post season play ... or even be in contention by Thanksgiving , his goose err ...his turkey is cooked. And I don't mean his Thanksgiving dinner !

New Media : Tweetum

2009-07-02T11:25:00.006-04:00

I am really amaze at the number of people using Twitter . Everybody just about has a Twitter account. So after , My Space and Facebook , all of my friends are 'tweeting' madly. And of course , can the bloggers be far behind. All sportwriters and prominent basketball bloggers use Twitter to bring up to date news and rumors to their addicted followers. Kevin Love of the Timbaktu ... oops . the Timberwolves outscooped everybody by spilling the ouster of Wolves' coach Kevin McHale from his post. Ha,ha,ha .How 'bout that . Love made ESPN's Chad Ford et al look like runner ups in the marathon....several miles behind the winner in crossing the finish line !
This brings me to the point of my post today . I am inventing a new way of transmitting super breaking news . I am presenting ... Tweetum . It's the answer to Twitter which contains 50% unsubtantiated basketball rumors , just to tweet so to speak . Tweetum is different than Twitter in so many ways. Trust me .It kinda out tweet the original in every aspect of relaying basketball news. Just look at the samples of the tweetums from initial subscribers .

1. Joe Blowhard : Raptors' ready to sign Varejao to help collect rebounds . TO's Mayor Miller to sign him to collect garbage that accumulated due to the city strike .TWEETUM.COM

2. Rudy D' Gay : Colangelo signing Milsap as a back up to Evans . Evans hurt his hands in last week's Gay Pride parade.TWEETUM.COM

3. Comeback Kid : Toronto bringing back Delfino , Villanueva and Chuck Swirksky . Rookie De Rozan happy . He is sure of 1 vote in the ROY contest. TWEETUM.COM

4. Doggie Smith : Vince super happy that he's traded to championship caliber and hometown team Orlando Magic. Team Doctor not happy. TWEETUM.COM

5. The Lone Granger : BC busy with free agent signing this summer . BC also busy polishing his resume . TWEETUM.COM

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Boogie Will Soon Be A 'Made Man' !

2009-06-02T15:09:00.006-04:00

It's not official yet but it seems like Toronto fans' fav is , Alvin 'Boogie' Williams will be added as the newest assistant to freshly upgraded Mafiosi ,coach Jay Triano. The Raptors cast will be full of goodfellas with the names ending in bowels . There is the godfather Brian Colangelo ,next in line is Maurizio Gherardini and Memphis Mafia transplant Marc Iavaroni. I presume, Alex English is on the way out his name ending in a wrong English alphabetti. Why Williams then ? Hmmm. I guess his nickname , Boogie , can pass as an Italian name. It ends in a bowel , right ? Or maybe Boogie is gansgter enough . Remember Bugsy Siegel , the gangster who built Las Vegas using Mafia money ? Boogie and Bugsy !
Anyho , one thing is sure. Boogie will be able to transfer his knowledge to the Raptors guards. Like how to ballhog . Yeah , during his playing days with the Raps , Williams is known as a shoot first PG. Maybe not like fellow Philadelphian ( a transplant really ), Allen Iverson ,but as trigger happy nevertheless. Proof ? Williams' career assist average during his 9 years in the NBA was a puny 4.0 assists per game with the highest at 5.7 apg achieved during the '01-'02 season ! A far cry from Jose's assist numbers. Really , what can Alvin pass on to the present PGs of the Raps ? Playing despite having injury. Yes, Alvin liked to play inspite of the pain. Not like the present Raps. They don't like to play with pain ... they just like to play like pain in the ass !

Jay's New Year's Resolution ?

2009-01-05T20:12:00.005-05:00

Assistant : Coach , is that your New Year's resolution ?
Jay Triano : What new year's resolution .... this loooong list is the list of what's wrong with the Raptors !

Raptors Top 10 Christmas Wishes

2008-12-24T09:40:00.024-05:00

No. 10 Chris Bosh to have his own signature energy drink from Red Bull so that he will play tirelessly all season long. Remember Chrissy . If you want to be an MVP , always drink your RB .
No. 9 A crystal ball for GM Brian Colangelo for him to make a good draft pick this time as his team is headed to the lottery . Hopefully , the ball is not made in Italy !

No. 8 New father Jemario Moon to get a reliable and a consistent jumper .

No , that that kind of jumper , stupid Santa !

No. 7 An indestructible robot body for off injured Jermaine O'Neal . Here's wishing the cost of body makeover is nowhere near the cost of his hefty contract ?

No.6 A new hairdo for Roko Ukic to replace his perpetually bad hair day hairdo . What's better than a neat cornrow ala Charles Oakley . Oh wait , I forgot . Roko is not a bro .

No. 5 The duo of Bosh and Jose to turn into the local version of Stockton and Malone ...... or maybe . even like the high scoring Harris and VC tandem ..... or just like Starsky and Hutch . Whatever

No. 4 Jay Triano to receive the NBA's Coach Of the Year Award this season........and be fired the next season !

Waiting message from Avery and Sam : Welcome To The Fired Soon After Receiving COY Trophy Club !

No. 3 The ACC crowd to cheer like crazy ala Ophra and Tyra Bank's super hyper studio audiences. And they are ready to do whatever their idols want 'em to do. You like that , CB4 . OK , now Raptors fans ACC no booing and cheer us for us ......even when we suck .

No. 2 That the real Raptors team please stand up .... or come out now of your (egg ) shell . It's showtime dudes .

And the No. 1 wish this Christmas holiday is .......................that there is no Christmas . no 2008 NBA season at all . No bad start . No Harper . No bailouts. No recession .Period . The year 2008 never happened , period . Fast Forward to 2009 or better still , 2010 !

Basketball 's First 5

2008-12-22T08:53:00.006-05:00

Yup , it's a fact . Washington has a new basketball team . So move over Washington Wizards .... ...and even those fav whipping boys of the Harlem Globetrotters called the Washington Generals . President elect Barack Obama just assembled what he called the best basketball playing White House staff . From Attorney General-to-he , Eric Holder, to Oregon State University coach and 1st bro in law , Craig Robinson , the White House line up is solid . Let us see . Should the WH basketball team be called the Washington Barrackuda ? Nope Barracudas was Sarah Palin's high school basketball team monicker . Or maybe , Washington Obamagic ? Yes . ObaMagic with none other than President Obama as the star . Awesome . Think about it. A fellow Chicagoan named MJ was famous for walking on air . Barack can walk on water or so many claim . One fellow Illinois native sure to be not in the WH line up is Governor Blagojovich . Not to worry . Maybe , Raptors GM Brian Colangelo will sign Blago . After all , Blago sounds European !

Winning Streak Is Over , Whining Streak Begins

2008-12-14T13:37:00.009-05:00

Yup , the Raptors are playing good basketball again . After beating the Pacers and the Nets in that order , they seemed to have rediscovered their penchant for playing ' D '. Coupled this with Chris Bosh and Co. finding the hole , the crowd is back again thinking that the Raps are playoff bound and should make the 2nd round of the NBA playoffs. So , Chris is no longer Chris Bush , Kapono is not Kaphewno , Jose Calderon is Calderunning again and emario Moon found his ' J ' or jumpshot so he desrved to be called Jemario once more .Funny how a couple of games can change how the fans view this team . How about O'Neal and Bargnani ? A lot of people think these 2 are definitely trade baits . What ? Maybe , Bargs is 'coz he's still young and an agile 7 footer but Jermaine is the opposite - old (at 29 ! ) , lead footed and injury prone. Andrea is really still a project according to Colangelo. I just hope Bargs it is not B.C.'s ........ Project Runaway !
This noon's game although a loss is not bad at all. They fought the New Orleans Hornets toe to toe but their opponents were simply tougher. I guess that was the effect of Katrina . The Hornets shot the 3's real easy like picking apples or should I say , like Big Easy ! James Posey in the 1st half and Rasul Butler in the 2nd half . Of course , the battle of Chrises was the focal point in this game. The teammates in the just concluded Beijing Olympics both played well but the small guard beat the tall forward. CP3 played an all around game while CB4 faltered in the end ... as usual. Sounds familiarity . Bosh chose to shoot a 3 pointer in the waning seconds of the game instead of a high percentage shot . He missed. So in this game , CP3 > CB4 !

Thanksgiving Turk.... Hawks !

2008-11-28T20:07:00.018-05:00

The Raptors started this game on the right foot but end it on the left foot...almost . If not for the misses by the Hawks in the waning minutes of the contest, the result would had been like the New Jersey game. ' Toronto failed to put the game away with ill adviced shots by Bosh and Calderon ' said Dominique Wilkins , the basketball Analyst for Hawks TV. Sam called a timeout after Altanta cut down the lead to 3 points . If CB4 wants to be the MVP this season as reported in the papers , he got to use his head. Talking about head , Bosh was guarded in this game by heady player. No , I'm not saying that the Hawk center, Zsa Pachulia , is brainy but his head is HUGE. He has a huge game also hauling down 17 rebounds. But in the end , it was Bosh shining with 30 points. I wonder if Chris is serious when he said that he wants to be the MVP of the league this season. Bosh , MVP ? No way , man . Not with the Raps' record and not with guys named James and Kobe still around. Somebody should tell Chris that he must show up in games vs. KG , Sheed and the like before he considers himself legit MVP material. Right now , Bosh should be satisfied just being the MVP ....of the Raptors !
In the game tonight , 'Nique also criticized Jamario Moon for not taking advantage of the mismatch between him and 6'0'' Bibby . Jamario opted several times to shoot from the outside than drive to the basket or post his much smaller guard. One can say that the high leapin' Raptor is not exactly SuperjaMario. Thank God for Joey Graham who for the 2nd straight game earned his paycheck. One other Raptor who showed up in this game was Jason Kapono. The NBA's 3 Pt. King certainly earned his being married to a beautiful wife ! This is the kind of game the TO crowd will love . Tight but the Raps prevailed in the end. It will entice hockey mad Canadians to look forward to more NBA game especially now that the Maple Leafs suck. .. as usual. The Leafs loss is the Raptors' gain ! The stock market is on 5 day winning streak and the Raps on a 2 game winning streak . GM lives another day and Sam lives another game. Life is good ! Well , at least until this weekend when the Raps meet the Lakers !

Lack Of eMotion Offense Dooms The Raps

2008-11-23T13:11:00.012-05:00

The ' Cs started like a house on fire while the Raps like a 60 year old penis deprived of Viagra. For the 2nd straight game . Jose Calderon faced a whirlwind of a guard in Rondo exposing the Spanish's guard deficiency in defence like in the game versus the Nets' speedo Harris . ' He (Jose) is fast on his feet on offense but not on defense`said Donnie Hammonds . the Celtics`TV basketball Analyst '. The other scene that I looked forward to in this game was the O'Neal and Perkins lovefest. It will be recalled that the 2 almost went lips to lips their facess almost merged in their near confrontation . 'I'm a banger , he's a banger ' said Perkins. Nothing happened with O'Neal playing limited minutes with his knee not o'heal completely .The half ended with the Raptors behind by 10 points and their behinds spanked repeatedly by the Cs running game.
The start of the 3rd quarter was no different. The Raps gave away 2 baskets in the 1st 40 secs of the final half . It`s like TO went on a siesta. Seems like only The Hump decided to play as even CB4 was ineffective. I tell you what. The Raps need a bigtime bailout . Just like the US automakers , Sam`s bunch needs much needed infusion of cas...err...talents . It seems that last Friday`s loss to the NJ Nets sapped the Raps of the last energy left in them. By the middle of the 3rd quarter , the boos were more audible. I`m just glad I did go to the ACC as I originally planned. It`s funny how the 2 sides view KG`s taunting . TO and maybe the rest of the NBA said it`s worthy of a technical. The Cs TV team felt it is part of who Garnett is. `The NBA said it will allow the players to show some emotions and KG is just showing his emotions' said the TV team from Boston. As if on que , CB4 gathered his teammates in the waning moment of the 4th quarter . 'Bosh is showing some emotions rallying the rest of the Raptors to give him the ball ' . Naah . Maybe the Raps need plenty of emotion ....but they must practice motion offense instead of waiting for the ball all the time ! They simply were outran,outhustled and out of the ballgame early !

The NBA Vs. The WNBA , Politics Style

2008-09-07T13:16:00.008-04:00

Basketball is at the center of U.S. politics. It became so when Barack Obama grabbed center stage as a candidate for Democratic presidential nomination . You probably has seen numerous pics and video clips of Barack then known as 'Barry' playing ball in his early years in Hawaii to the latest 3 0n 3 game he has with some U.S. soldiers stationed in Iraq. If you have not , go google it . Just type ' Obama , balls 'or something like that. And now here comes Sarah Barracuda . That my friend is the nom de guerre of Sarah Palin the sexy Republican Vice Presidential candidate when she was a high school basketball player from small town in her native Alaska. The hottest hockey Mom , now Governor of Alaska , was a ferocious guard ala Isiah Thomas during her early years in Waisila , You are still not convinced . Just google ' Sarah , balls ' . Maybe not . Anyway , there was Barry Obama and .....Sarah Barrycuda once upon a time .

What a coup for David Stern. 1st the redemption in Beijing and now , the U.S. election . Whoever wins , basketball wll be the main beneficiary . I laughed when I heard a guest in PrimeTime Sports said ' the NHL should take advantage of the hockey mom tag associated with Sarah Palin '. What ? No chance . The game is basketball , my friend . The only question is , who will win in the match between Obama vs. Palin, Barry vs. Barrycuda , Hawaii 5-0 vs. Northern Exposure. Obama wants to play Sarah to a game of one on one basketball. That's a sure hit pay for view spectacle. If I'm Stern or Jerry Colangelo , I will sponsor this event . I'll promote this match as Obama versus Hot Mama !

10 Things That Will Happen To The Members Of The Redeem Team After The Olympics !

2008-08-23T17:17:00.014-04:00

No. 10 . NBA head coaches but assistant coaches in the Redeem Team -Popovich, D' Antoni and McMillan - will return to their respective pro teams and spread the lessons they learned from NCAA/ amateur coach Mike K.

No. 9 Lebron James will stay in China to realize his dream to become the 1st billionaire in sports with the help of ...... a billion Chinese fans !

No. 8 Kobe will reciprocates the adoration showed to him in Beijing that Kobe will add the name of China's capital to his name . From hereon , Kobe will be known as KoBeijing.

No. 7 Seldom used forward Michael Redd will defect to Redd China.

No. 6 Tayshaun Prince will do an infomercial on the Chinese slow , gracious martial art cum exercise called tai chi. It will be titled Tai chi by Tai shaun !

No. 5 Center Dwight Howard and comebacking guard Dywane Wade will both adapt Chinese names --Dwight Hongward Dwang Wade !

No. 4 Deron Williams will decide to make skin more black to be completely accepted by his hip hop and younger members of team and its fans. He will even copy Ron Artest's nickname and be called as DeRon Ron Williams .

No. 3 Chris Paul who said that they were like The Beatles in China will change his name to Chris Paul Macartney !

No. 2 Bald and aging point guard Jason Kidd will be the personal hairstylish of long haired Spanish phenom PG Ricky Rubio .

No. 1 Chris Bosh will enter showbiz and become a Snoop Dogg impersonator !

Walk The Talk . Better Still STFU !

2008-07-25T12:06:00.004-04:00

Ha , ha , ha . Can't get enuff of the Leo Rautins' Canada national team (mis)adventure. The 'know it all' of basketball this side of town was a big flop as a national basketball coach, Rautin's boys disfintegrated before the qualifying tournament for the Beijing Olympics even finished. The 2 main recruits by Leo , 76er Sam Dalembert and NCAA standout , Juan Mendez , left the team in not so good terms. Expect rantings when the Raptors play the Sixers next season. Rautins will not let his 'personal feelings' aside when describing Dalembert's play on the court. When last season, Sam D. cannot seem do anything wrong (because Leo was still courting Sam to join the national team) when describing the Canadian convert's actions on the court , Raptors TV watchers now will think they are listening to Rush Limbaugh !. Whereas Sam D. was treated by the Raps TV Analyst Rautins before like Obama is being handled by mainstream US media, he now joins traitor Vince and long time national team deserter Jamal Magliore in the Leo's hate list. In other words , Leo Rautins is now Leo Rantings !
Leo's embarasment will extend tonight when Kobe , Melo, DWade , CP3 and Co. ose 4 are one name players better known by their nicknames or known by their initialsare expected to toy with his no name players. Quick test , name me the 1st 5 of the Canadian men's basketball team ? Uhh,h hmmm , aah ? How about Nito , JD , NLess and X3 ! These names are one name handles. too. Cool and easy to remember. Nito is Incognito , JD is John Doe and NLess is Nameless and X3 is player X wearing jersey no.3 !

GM Picks Calderon !

2008-07-16T20:12:00.004-04:00

Old news ? Naaah . I'm referring to another GM and not the Bryan Colangelo kind. The one known in Canada as Generous Motors ! Yep . General Motors via one of its division ,Chevrolet , agreed with the Spanish Basketball Federation to be the offifial car sponsor. Therefore , one will expect to see Jose Calderon driving a Chevy car . Maybe , but not coach Sam Mitchell who as Torontonians know is a Ford endorser. I wonder if Sam will still push Ford Fusion now that T.J.Ford is but an illusion ?
Talking about cars , everybody is excited about next generation cars especially with the ever increasing price of gasoline.Only the rich and the NBA players with their gas guzzling Escalades are immune to the high gas price. Thank God for the hybrids which are now plying the highways and streets of oil sand rich Canada. That's not all. , every car manufacturer are coming out with their version of the electric car. The 1st one to do so will make a bundle of money coz guys like ex Raptor , Matt Bonner , will purchase one. Over at GM , everyone is excited fabout the Volt. They call the GM Volt the Toyota Killer .They say this plug in electric car will catapult American made cars to the forefront once again. The Big 3 from Detroit not Boston will be relevant again. Hmmm . GM Volt huh . I know only of GM bolt . Yeah , bolt as in escape or dissapear with unusual urgency . The Raptor GM bolting TO as fast as the electric car if the team fails to improve next season !

' Goin' Back To Indiana , Indiana Here I Come '.

2008-07-09T12:14:00.009-04:00

Free agents signing starts today with a bang... or is it with a boing, depending on who the teams acquired ? Elton Brand is set to join Philadelphia . That's a bang . Mikael Pietrus will hook up with Orlando.... a likely boing . Elton can play except the piano. The other Elton can do that. A certified 20/10 guy --that's 20 points and 10 rebounds per game- Brand can make the Sixers a contender this coming season. Pietrus is a 20/10 baller too . I meant , he has a 20/10 court vision . All he knows is how to shoot from all angles even from the bench as a member of the Warriors. Come to think of it , Don Nelson's men are supposed to do just that. The hell with other facets of the game. In any case , these 2 developments in the Eastern conference spell trouble for the Raptors. These will surely make it hard for the Raps to go past the Magic who beat them in the 1st round in this year's playoffs or even to hang on to the no. 6 spot in the Eastern conference with emergence of the 76ers as one of the powers in the East. It will all defend on how healthy the new Raptor Jermaine O'Neal will be .' Jermaine comes out early in the off season unlike most NBA players who usually don't start practicng until June ' said famed NBA trainer Joe Abunassar. Hey , Trainer To The Stars . O'Neal starts his season early because the Pacers end their past 3 seasons early too !
Talking about the newest Raptor who the team will intro today to the fans and the TO media . I don't why B.C. and Co. need to do that. O'Neal is already known to most NBA followers since he entered the NBA as a Trailblazer straight from high school . One thing about Jermaine, the guy is not lacking in self confidence. Even as a benchwarmer in the star studded Portland team in his early years . Jermaine proclaimed himself as a future All Star. He eventually became a 3 time All Star with the Indiana Pacers. Will Jermaine regain the form that made him a member of the NBA All Star starting 5 ? Not sure . Oh well , if anything else fails , Jermaine can always come back to Indy as a member of the Jackson 5 !

Jermaine ' Tito' Jackson :Sweeeeet !

Outsourcing , The NBA Way !

2008-07-02T13:05:00.008-04:00

I've been saying a long time ago that B.C. should start recruiting from Asia for players to wear the Raptors uniform.It's a way to add value to the franchise and of course , marketing wise. But B.C.'s europecentric approach in bolstering the lineup of the men in red continues this season with the addition of Roko Uric from Croatia . Yes , Colangelo drafted Nathan Jawai, a 7'0" center from Australia, for a change . But how many ( basketball paying ) fans are from Australia residing in T.O ? Or even just the population of Australians here ! The easiest way to find out is to ask those swaggering drunks coming out of downtown bars if they are Aussies ! Or another way is to ask those dancing Matildas in local ballrooms if they are from down under . No, mate is their likely answer. I was fortunate enough to watch some NBL games ( Australian pro league ) when I was in Australia some years back . They don't play bad basketball , I told myself . If only these white mates can jump like kangaroos , they will be awesome.Do you know how the Raptors got Jawai ? It's via Jim Kelly, head scout of the Raptors , who spent some time in Asia years ago before joining the Raps. Kelly is married to a Filipina and used to write a sports column in the Philippines. Like it or not , B.C. will soon outsource players from third world countries..... to meet the NBA salary cap !

If the NBA is wise , India and the rest of Asia aside from China , will be places to go for basketball players. In fact , MLSE should lead the way . Imagine how many Indians will fill the ACC if the Raptors have a turban wearing MJ play alike or a skilled Hindu slashing to the basket instead of the stomach of a appendicitis suffering patient in a TO hospital. Or even a bearded Pakistani driving the lane instead of a dilapidated metro cab ! Indians are really a tall breed . The average height of Indian nationals stand at 5'8" . There are parts of the country where people are as tall as the Europeans . The only reason they appear less tall is because Indians sway their heads sideway if they agree with what you are saying instead of up and down when nodding .A country of a billion people should produce a handfull of 1st class basketball players. The Raps need to bring some prospects in Canada soon -- put them in a rigorous training for 3-4 years , watch them develop into NBA caliber players and walah! the Raptors will have a bevy low cost but highly skilled players. And it is gonna be a win-win situation as thousands of their countrymen in TO will fill the ACC . I can just imagine moi watching a Raptors game live at Air Canada . Mr. Ahmad, to my right , cheering the team with his arms raised and Mr. Singh ,to my left, doing the same thing .....and yours truly desperately covering his nose !

Superfan : Hey , I don't smell . You can ask Ms. Carter here. She even smells my balls ! I mean , my basketballs .

J.O Not J.Low !

2008-06-30T12:00:00.010-04:00

The verdict as far as Jermaine O'Neal's acquisition in place of T.J. Ford, Rasho and change is 50/50 at the moment. But if you watched TSN's The Reporters last Sunday , the latest move by Brian Colangelo was a questionable (???). What do these hockey talking heads know anyway . Dave Hodge and Co. better stick to hockey and occasionally , the sport where the dudes use brooms . J.O. will be OK. He is even high about the coming season. ' I think playing alongside Bosh will give us a different dynamic ' said O'Neal . Like the dynamic duo of Batman and Robin ? The question is who is gonna be Batman and who is gonna be the Mop man ? Or it is Batman and Hasbeen ? The J.O./CB4 tandem is the closest that B.C. can pattern after the succesful K.G. and Pierce duo . Does that mean that Sam Mitchell can begin talking to reporters about championship like Doc Rivers did with the C's at the start of last season ? Yup ! The NBA championship won by the Celtics !
The TSN Reporters complained about the NBA's draft day trades and all and said these transactions are confusing as hell . They said there is something wrong to the fact that O.J. Mayo was drafted by Minnesota only to find out the next morning Mayo is now a member of the Grizzlies . What's wrong with that ? If you are an NBA fan , that's not topsy turvy way of doing things . It's exciting and real NBA fans can follow the movement of players. Take for example the new boxing champion of the world in the lighweight division . Manny ' Pacman ' Pacquiao , boxing's pound for pound best , followed Kevin Garnett to Boston from 'Sota . ' There is only one I want my picture taken with ' said Pacquiao at the dugout after disposing of David Diaz via TKO in the 9th round last Saturday night. It's none other than KG despite that the other members of the Big 3 , Allen and Pierce , together with Cassell , Rondo and Perkins followed the Big Ticket to celebrate the tremendous victory by the champ at his dugout. ' Before , my favorite team was the Timberwolves . When Garnett moved to Boston , I became a Celtics fan '. There . You puckheads see what I mean. In the NBA , there is no difficulty following what's happenning no matter how frenzy player movements are. Just follow the money like Manny !

B.C. Needs B.C. Formula !

2008-06-20T12:21:00.007-04:00

As NBA draft day nears , I'm sure B.C. is busy . Extra busy or at least , busier than before. Why ? MLSE and the Raptor fans will ask for more now that the rebuilding is on its 4th year. In fact , it should not be called rebuilding at this stage ! Fans who sang B.C. hossanahs the previous seasons are all set to sing him boosanah . Why not ? They were told in year 4 , the Raptors are just about ready to compete for the NBA eastern conference title at least. I listened to Mike Wilbon respond to his partner at PTI whether the Celtics are ready to repeat as NBA champs next year and perhaps start a dynasty . ' It's possible. Detroit is shaking up its line up . King James and the Cavs are still in need of a good back up . Orlando is still young and Washington may be losing Arenas ' Wilbon talked on and on citing 3 other teams but not Toronto. Poor Raps . They are not even in the radar of most knowledgeable NBA followers.

Think very hard ... and fast B.C. Can't you hear the footsteps ... and these are getting louder. If your former colleague , Mike D'Antoni, can be ejected from his seat with the Suns despite a winning record the past seasons ( unlike the Raps who are stuck in the 1st round the last 2 season ), for sure another Steve Kerr is waiting to kick yer ass. So what now B.C ? Simple .The answer can be found in your intials B.C. . Adopt the B.C. formula. Do it the Boston Celtics way ! Get your own KG , Ray Ray and supporting cast to partner with CB4 and watch the team turnaround , pronto.

High Def Or High Deaf !

2008-06-09T11:46:00.012-04:00

It's interesting to note how the 2 American networks tried to sell the championship series to their audience. First , NBC with the recently concluded Stanley Cup won by Detroit Red Wings in 6 games against the 'young' Pittsburg Penguins and currently , ABC with the Boston - LA NBA battle . The excecutives at the peacock network were extra excited when the Penguins made it to the finals. They reckoned that with Sid ' The Kid ' Crosby headlining the match between 2 hockey towns , the ratings will be a sure hit . But alas , the games of the Stanley Cup failed to even break the Nielsens rating for the week of May 26-June 1. What the 4#$@% ! It proved that currently , Crosby is not a major attraction . ' Crosby is not a crossover star yet ' said the fat host of Pardon The Interruption TV show . The Lebron James of the puckworld failed to pull the TV ratings up despite Crosby's achievements at such an early age . Some people in Canada said it is not Crosby who will save the NHL (in the U.S.). ' It's high definition TV that will save hockey ' shouted a recent article in the local papers to those who have difficulty hearing .

Over here in Canada , the hockey series fared a lot better despite the lack of a Canadian team in the Stanley Cup finals . Canadians are used to watching pucks even amidst snowstorm. No need for high def here . On the other hand , the NBA has what you might call a dream match up . For the 1st time in more than 20 years , the Celtics and the Lakers are in the Finals again . What more can Comm. Stern ask for ? It's like having Indiana Jones and the Ironman in the same movie. The 1st game of the NBA Finals was up 38% from the previous year. That's over there in the south of the border. I am sure as the series reaches the 6th or the 7th game , excitement will reach ultra high. TSN is carrying the games here in Canada . As Canadians are aware , TSN carry its programs in high definition . Not that high def is needed to increase the support of the locals to basketball. How about high sports IQ ?

Wanted : AndyMen

2008-05-26T12:24:00.008-04:00

There is the opportunity for the Raptors to toughen up. Rumor is that the Chicago Bulls are ready to unload Andres Nacioni once they have Beasley in the fold. 'Andy ' Nacioni is one tough bull from Pampas. He irritates opponents with his no nonsense defense and rugged offense. Just what the gooddy gooddy Raps need. Give 'em T.J. or give them puberty . The Bulls are a young bunch needing growing up. Look at J. Noah . Arrested for mj possesion. MJ ? Not Michael Jordan to Bulls fans.

Another Andy . Andy Varejao is reportedly ready to be unloaded by the Cavaliers' management. Note that in the last 2 games versus the Celtics , Big Ben Wallace was used more often by coach Brown. That means , Varejao is on the way out. Who knows how his hold out at the start of the season damaged his reputation to the Cavs management and fans . So what are you waiting for B.C. ? Move yer ass .And NOW. These 'Andys' will give your team the toughness and the rebounds sorely lacking in the Raptors arsenal. It's good to get even just Andy V. I'm sure the Portuguese/Brazilian communities in TO which normally come out every 4 years to cheer for their World Cup teams will welcome this Andy.Whether ' offensive ' Andy N or no offense Andy V. , Bryan needs to get one of these guys . Who will be Bryan's first choice ? If you ask First Choice hair saloon , you know who that is !

The Ghost Of Mo Pete .

2008-05-14T12:19:00.006-04:00

Just like a line from the song ' They Don't Impress Me Much ' by Canadian Shaina Twain Okay , you are Brad Pitt. Yes , GM Colangelo , he's not as good looking as Jason Kapono , your Brad Pitt . He is just Mo Pete. but who's laughing now. ? Peterson's team , the New Orleans Hornets , are on their way to the Western Finals . Maybe The NBA Finals ! Even Charles Barkley said ' I'm going out to say that the Hornets will win tonight . They will beat the Spurs and end the series '. MP is playing a big role in getting the young team being really competitive. Coach Byron Scott rely on Mo Pete in guarding the opposing team's big guns. Against Dallas ,which N.O. dispatched in the 1st round , he guarded Josh Howard . In their on going series vs. the defending champion Spurs , Mo Pete is pitted against Manu Ginobili. Yup . Now who did JK guarded in the 1st round of the playoffs ? Kapono guarded his clothes and belongings including his beautiful wife . OK , Kapono played good offense vs. the Magic. Mo Pete is not too shabby in piling up points himself vs San Antonio. His shooting percentage in this on going series is a hhg 60%. In fact , in game 5 , Mo Pete shot 4 three pointers that broke the back of Popovich's team. So Bryan .stop name dropping like those singers .Don't tell Raps fans that J. Kap is the NBA 3 pt. shooting champ and he's a member of the NBA champion Miami Heat . Mo Pete was just fine for Raptors fans. After all , he's one of us .

TJ On The Move Again And Moi Is Still In Search Of An NBA Job ?

2008-05-09T12:41:00.017-04:00

This is turning out to be a repeat of the Milwaukee Bucks scenario. I mean , the reason why TJ Ford was moved by the Bucks was that the management of the Bucks thought that the team had a surplus of point guards 3 years ago. The Bucks traded TJ to Toronto for Charle V and made Mo Williams their starting point guard. Now that Jose Calderon made known his desire to be a starting guard next season , the Raptors will have no choice but to let go of TJ. I bet the Raptors will hold on the the Espanol. Tsk , tsk tsk . I hate to say this , but I told you so. When the Raps acquired TJ , I wrote then that B.C. made his 1st big mistake . Not only did he failed to recognize Charlie V's value but also that Jose is a 1st rate guard worthy of a starting job. I wrote then that the Raptors just need to draft a back up point guard or get one from the free agent market. Available then were Pargo , Williams and Vaughn among talented back ups. Whew . I keep asking myself , why despite being the Nostradamus of the hoop world , I am still not hired by any NBA team or the even just the Raptors ? I'm not picky . I am willing to start at the top , say as a GM , and for a salary equal to the annual budget of a Third World nation.

Talking about nations , the US is set to elect their 1st basketball playing President. Barack Obama is almost sure to be the Democratic Party's presidential candidate and he is expected to beat Republican John Mc Cain. Obama said he will install a basketball court in th e White House when he assumes office. Obama's election to the highest office in the US will be good for the game of basketball. And good for world peace too. Just imagine Obama doing basketball diplomacy with previously unreachable and recalcitrant heads of states . N. Korea's Kim Jong Il is a devoted NBA and MJ fan . Cuba's Fidel Castro is a long time fan of hoops. Even the Hamas are practioners of fastbreak basketball. Huh , what ? Just watch the Palestinians throw rocks at the Israelis like they are starting a fastbreak. Peace .

10 Real Reasons Why Suck Is Leaving The Raptors

2008-05-07T03:29:00.013-04:00

No.10 Suck was denied Canadian citizenship despite what was reported in the papers. He is actually one of 40,000 missing illegals in Canada !

No.9 His prediction of 50 wins by the Raptors this season did not come true. Maybe , he said , Chicago has a betterer chance of getting that number of wins with Mike D'Antoni coaching there next season. Take that Sam .

No. 8 He is returning to Chicago to be Illinois Senator Barack Obama's play by play announcer.' Barack goes to the basket versus the whole North Carolina team ...'

.No. 7 MLSE refused to increase his reported Cdn.$ 300,000 annual salary . How can I feed my family with the current exchange rate vis a vis the American dollar ?

No. 6 Suck wants to join Chicago because he thinks the Bulls are more exciting. How many times has the mascot-Benny The Bull- been in trouble huh Dino ?

No. 5 Jamario Moon refused to give him a 'facial' , whatever that means .

No. 4 Jack Armstrong forced him to return to the States so he can take over as the voice of the Raptors. Another Gringo soon to apply for Canadian citizenship . Recession is really now in the States huh Jack ?

No. 3 He is really the 1st victim of GM Bryan Colangelo's major revamp of the Raptors. The next is the ACC mop girl.

No. 2 ACC wants to save on salami and cheese sandwich as well as onions baby onions. Have you not heard of world food crisis , Chuckee Cheese ?

And the number 1 real reason why Suck is leaving the Raptors to join the Bulls is because he is a real bullshiter !

D Ho To Fly W/out The Superman Cape To TO.

2008-04-24T09:17:00.006-04:00

THEN : Howard : I need my Superman cape and fly in this dunk contest .

NOW : Howard : I need my broom to fly to ACC in TO. Sweep , hi,hi,hi.

Rise Raptors Rise !

2008-04-23T11:55:00.011-04:00

Now it's 0-2. Can the Raptors come back ? Can they muster the strength to win game 3 at least ? Can they do a Hillary ? ' Clinton is like Chumbawhamba. She gets knocked down but she gets up again and again ' said the CNN guy this morning after HC won the Pennysylvania primary by 10 points over Barack Obama. This morning also , I heard it over 590 AM that at least the basketball game last night was entertaining . Unlike game 1. Toronto has 2 chances to win the game but Bosh 'chickened' out ! First , he failed to get a foul called on Dwight Howard when he drove to the basket . The ball was blocked and midget Jameer Nelson rebounded and ran away with the ball like that ghome in the Travelocity commercial .The next time, Bosh has the ball with 9 secs left but he opted to make a jumper instead of attacking the basket. Poor decision making. ' I don't want to put the game in the hands of the refs ' answered CB4 when asked why he did not drive to the basket . Huh ? The zebras wanted to put , in fact , put the game in Raptors hands. Before that play , a ref called a questionable offensive foul on Magic's Kenyon Dooling ! ' What do you call the Academy Awards in Spanish ' said the TNT announcer after witnessing Jose Calderon's performance worthy of an Oscar just to call the attention of the refs to Dooling's puny moves. I don't know how the likes of Gasol and Garbajosa call Jose's antics but I guess one can say Hasta La Vista , baby if the Raps fail to win at home !

Me thinks that Bosh was afraid of D Ho. Afraid that his shot will be blocked . Afraid that he will be crumpled again like a beer can in the hands of a goon in a Toronto bar. Or maybe , Bosh was just suffering from collision trauma . Oh my gosh. Bosh's punishments in this game were nothing compared to what King James got so far from the Wizards. Maybe Stephen A. is right. Bosh needs to bulk up . Or just appear tough , huh ? I can just imagine a tough looking and thrash talking Bosh. Ooops . Not that . Maybe , Bosh just needs to say his prayers before each game in this series. ' Glory Be To The Father , To The Son , To Dwight Howard.......

Unvetted Raptors Should Stay Out ?

2008-04-21T11:58:00.015-04:00

Same , same. That's the bottomline. The Raptors lost to the Orlando Magic , 100-114, in game 1 of their 1st round match up because they are not vetted . Like Barrack Obama according to the Hillary camp. 'If you can't stand the heat , get out of the kitchen ' said Bill Clinton . Well , the Raptors barely beat the Heat in their last game of the regular season . Maybe , they should get out of the kitc .... the playoffs . Despite being in 2nd consecutive year in the NBA playoffs , the Raps were caught flatfooted in the 1st quarter . Why oh why ? Simple . The pressure of post season play. 'Chris Bosh was criticized last year in the 1st round match up against the Nets when he averaged 17 ppg only.Bosh haven't score in the 2nd quarter in this game' said the TNT guy in explaining the blowout. The Raptors center eventually finished with a meek 22 points and only 6 rebounds. CB4 averaged a splendid > 30 ppg vs. Howard and Co. in the regular season.In this game , Howard graduated into a real force ala Shaq . DH completely owned Bosh. Howard is Bosh's boss !

Which brings me to the topic of how so called superstars faced criticism .LeBrown James said his play speaks louder than words. LBJ muted Stevenson in their game last Saturday. Overrated huh .LBJ is simply devasting . He carried his team by destroying the whole Washington team ! What about Chris Bosh ? Prior to the game , Bosh wrote in his blog how hurt he was at ESPN's Stephen 'Asshole' Smith's non basketball related (?) tirades against him . On the day of the game , Smith explained what he meant by his earlier comments . ' I just said he (Bosh) needs to do weight training. He is so thin. The toughest guy in the Raptors is their coach. The are soft. As soft as Cottonelle '. Is Bosh thin ? Stephen A. is correct . Is the team (Cottonnelle) soft ? The Asshole is correct again .So , what's bugging Chris ? It's good that Smith did'nt call Bosh Tampon . Ya know . It's ultra thin , soft and eventually becomes as red as the Raptors' uniform !

Top 10 Reasons Why The Raptors Will Bow To The Magic In Their Playoff Series !

2008-04-18T12:11:00.021-04:00

No. 10 Rasho will stop doing the Happy Dance routine , credited for his awesome games lately , starting this playoff series with the Magic. Rasho will go back to his old self - sucky !

No. 9 Chris Bosh will hurt his arm egging the dead Raptors fans in the ACC to cheer for the team...again. Bosh will suffer from plantar armitiis .

No. 8 Maple Leaf Sports And Entertainment's Richard Peddie will force Sam Mitchell to finish the series in 4 games so that he can concentrate in rebuilding the more loved Maple Leafs' hockey club .What way to insure an early finish than to be swept by the Magic ! Welcome to the Hockey mad and Weird Canada.

No. 7 Sam will try to get into the good grace of the Magic's owner and Amway founder Robert DeVos in case Bryan Colangelo fires Sam after the end of the season. Sam thought that Amway is an airline Company !

No. 6 The Raps' fans will be jinx by the presence of the hated and Orlando native Vince Carter . They will will shout 'VC sucks ' all series long forgetting the Magic players who will play awesomeball undisturbed.

No. 6 Coach Stan Van Gundy will do his best to coach the Magic to victory because there is a rumor that Pat Riley will replace him again if he faltered.

No. 5 The Magic will declare all Torontonians persona non grata if the Raptors beat the Magic . That means , No Disney vacations ......only trips to Ontario's sucky Wonderland !

No. 4 Anthony Parker will dislocate his shoulder three times purposely to match sis Candice, the better Parker , who led his school's NCAA team to victory despite a dislocating her shoulder twice. AP will break his shoulder instead the 3rd time.

No. 3 The Raptors' mascot will spike the Raptors' players drinks . It's appears that Dino made a secret pact with Disney execs that he will be included in the Mickey Mouse Club if the Magic wins.

No. 2 The 'small market' Toronto Raptors is bitter according to Barack Obama that's why they will just cling to relig.... each other instead of playing high quality basketball .

And the no. 1 reason why the Raptors will lose to the Magic is that the CB4' s girlfriend , Ms. CB4head will jeer Dwight Howard like she did .Just like LBJ , Dwight will punish the Raptors...only it's in all 4 games . Finito !

Kris Humphries Copies Chris Bosh's Act !

2008-04-15T20:26:00.009-04:00

Joey G : Hump , are you egging the dead silent Raptors' crowd to make some noise like CB4 did last week ?
Humphries : No Joey . I'm clearing the foul air because I just farted !

xox

Ti Bet Or Not To Bet For The Raptors.

2008-04-13T18:31:00.032-04:00

The Raptors battled the eastern powerhouse Detroit Pistons all the way before losing , 84-91. The Raps sure gave the boys from Motown a real scare . Oh I almost forgot .The Pistons played their 1st stringers sparingly. No one member of the 1st 5 played more than 25 minutes. They played stone and scissor while waiting to be fielded in the game ( see photo below). This game shown nationwide in the US via ESPN and ABC was supposed to be a dry run of the 1st round playoff. If that is the case , the match up will certainly a disaster. The series will definitedly be relegated to ESPN and not be carried by ABC like the other eastern conference match ups. You cannot blame the producers at ABC . Interesting match up as the Wizards vs. the Magics or teams that feature bonafide superstars like LeBron James or the combined star power of Pierce, Allen & Garnett and to some degree Cassell of the C's are TV ratings bonanza . I'm tired of seeing American Idol and Dancings With The Stars gather all the audience. The NCAA Finals between the Jayhawks and the Tigers was only no. 9 this w eek behind the crappy sitcom , Two And A Half Men. With the Celtics in this post season after a long time absence, ABC can always promote the Celtics' games as featuring Three And A Half Men !
There is still a chance that the Raps can avoid a sure 1st round loss to the Pistons . How ? By boycotting the playoffs because of China's Tibet policy ! Ooops. Not likely to be accepted by Comm. Stern . It's by actually playing really well in the last 2 regular season games so that they will hold on to the 6th position in the East. In such a case , the Raps will face the Magic . Easier opponent ? Even Magic's coach's bro , Jeff Van Gundy , thinks so. ' The Magic is not an elite team yet as it just lost this past week to the Timberwolves and the Knicks. ' The Knicks ? Any team which lost to the Knicks is certainly certified beatable. Bring on the Knicks' loser , Orlando ....pronto! Psst, the Raps lost to the Knicks too last Feb.22 . Huh ? What is Disney's policy in visitors ' attires ?

Dalai Lama : I may be wearing a Washington National's baseball cap but I am a Cleveland Cavaliers' fan all the way . Just look at my attire !

Raps ' Waive' DMart !

2008-04-09T17:23:00.011-04:00

B.C. : Sam , we will waive DMart.
Sam : Huh ? Ok !

The next day .
Sam : Raise your arms and wave , Bryan .
DMart :(singing ala Josh Groban)
' you raise me up , so I can
stand on mountains . you ...

The Raps Are Castrated.

2008-04-06T15:55:00.019-04:00

The Raptors are frustrated according to Sam Mitchell. More like , they are castrated ! Hey , the eunuchs are on a freefall lately with a string of losses the latest of which coming at the hands of playoff outcasts, the Charlotte Bobcats (100-105) and the New Jersey Nets (90-95) . They are now sitting at the 7th place, 2 games ahead of the surging Atlanta Hawks who are at no.8 spot. If the playoffs start now , TO will face Detroit. They're chances against the Pistons are slim and none . If the Hawks overtake them , their chance of beating the no. 1 Boston Celtics is somewhere between zero and none. The Raps stink. Right Bosh ? See pkoto on the left. So to those who predicted that the team will be better this year than last season , you just joined Obama and McCain in the lousy hoop prediction business. There is some who contends that B.C. is secretly happy at the development . At last , the Raptors GM can dispose of his coach . If the 1st round of the playoffs , the Raptors don't get pass , Sam Mitchell is past !

The team's current dilemna comes at a very bad time. If you are the team's coach . you want to end the regular season on a high note. Ffteen losses in the last 21 games is horrifying. Its like being face to face with Priscilla Presley's reconstructed face. Have the players tuned Sam out ? Nothing he say and do seem to have any effect anymore. ' The feeling is that we've just got to play better . Thar's no secret. We all feel that " Sam said. Really ? Raptors' fans booed the team in their last home game lost last Friday to the Bobcats. Next loss at home to hated VC and the Nets (April 11) , expect the fans to disown them !

Priscilla: If the Raps lose to the Nets, Sam can always see my doctor for plastic surgery !

Curry Not In A Hurry

2008-04-02T05:51:00.017-04:00

News was that NCAA sensation and son of ex Raptor Dell Curry is not exactly eager to go pro this coming NBA draft. Good for him. Stephen Curry who averaged an unbelievable 30 points during small school Davidson in March Madness run will be a tween at this stage. Not polished enough to be a point guard and not big enough to be a scoring guard. He will be like ex Raptor Juan Dixon - forced to play PG unsuccesfully by Sam . Curry should use this summer and next year to improve his passing and playmaking skills . And the summer leading to 2009 draft too. He can tranform himself to another Tony Parker (of the SA Spurs) . If Curry plays his cards well , he will have a solid career in the pro circuit. If he does not play his cards well .....hmm , well , Stephen can always play poker in the poker pro circuit.

Which brings me to the subject of this coming draft. Why is BC personally scouting draft prospects in Europe . He should have learned his lessons very well in the light of Andrea Bargnani's case. It just pathetic to see Bargs sitting on the bench even in the game vs. the lowly Charlotte Bobcats last Monday. His stat line -0 point , 2 rebounds and 0 assist in 7 minutes of playing time. This is how low the number 1 NBA overall pick has sunk. I'd say Bargs is no better than the Nets Bostjan Nachbar or the Nuggets' Kleiza . Both are not number 1 pick. Enough of this overated and softie Euros , Colangelo. Unless you are talking about euros , the currency. It's the only euros rising in value here in N.America. Lookit , Italian Marco Belinelli is KO'd on the Warriors' bench like Rocky while Frenchman Gelabale was sent to the D league by the Sonics before his injury completely sidelined him. And then there is high priced Beckham reduced to a spectator and seen watching a Lakers' game recently. Ooops . That's a Euro star in another sport. That Brit flopped instead of bending his body like Beck... like the Spice Girls. Besides , isn't Asst.GM , Mauricio G. supposed to handle Euro recruiting. Just stay in N.America , Brian and watch Curry shoot the lights out of the arena . Try listening to local advisers for a change. Just as long as he's not Obama's pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright !

Raptors Below Standard !

2008-03-24T13:02:00.014-04:00

Mediocre . That's the word to describe the current Raptors team. I've repeatedly said it before and now it becomes obviously clear. GM Bryan Colangelo refused to shake the line up before the trade deadline and now it's too late to make it competitive. Here are what's in store for the team :

1. Another Atlantic Division championship is but a dream. Maybe , MLSE should place an asterisk to last year's accomplishment.
2. No 50 wins this year . Homer Chuck will have to eat his words with the usual the salami and cheese sandwich . What's up with that ?
3. 1st round casualty of the playoffs especially if the team falls to the 7th or 8th place. The team is now tied with the Sixers for 6th place. That is an omen of bad things to come. Ya know , Sixers at 6th !

The game versus the Denver Nuggets which the Raptors lost , 100-109 , proved also that Chris Bosh is not prime time yet. Against Denver's Kenyon Martin's tough defense , he had a hard time making a basket. Was Bosh's meltdown in the last few minutes of the game because he was reminded of Mickey Moore by K Mart's tattoos ? CB4 ' called ' his fellow Raptors out after the game. I would rather that he call 911 instead. That's the thing you do in Denver (or Toronto) when you are dead ! And the Raps are as dead as the Maple Leafs. As to the 7 footer Andrea Bargnani , his 3 point shots went south. Perhaps to the 6'3'' Stephen Curry , the son of former Raptor Dell Curry . Wait, what about Sam's comment that ' since I've been here we have'nt had a player we can iso (isolation with ) the basketball '. Huh ? Wrong . Sam coached VC before the powers-that-be decided to jettisoned the then Raps' iso King . Sam basically admitted that Bosh does'nt meet the standard of a go to guy. Bosh is simply not ISO certified !

More Roadside Bombings

2008-03-16T08:43:00.035-04:00

0-3 and 2 more to go. Yup. The road ahead seems peppered with bombs or IEDs (Improvised Explosive Device ) as the Raptors continue their western trip. Tonight , the Raps will face the Sacto Kings. Expect the same rude treatment from another running team. ' We played hard but we've got to have a better start ' said coach Sam Mitchell after going down to the Golden State Warriors . Sam can't say the same thing in the case of their most recent loss to the Denver Nuggets. They were completely blown away allowing the Nuggs to score 79 points in the 1st half ! Wow. What happened Sam ? I'll tell you what . You did not play smart ball. The Raps tried to run with the bulls. Bullshit . The Warriors and the Nuggets are both excellent running teams who can run all night. TO tried but it has no way of matching their opponents. The Raps tried very hard with TJ Ford (TJ must mean Trying Jard ) but they failed miserably. TO lapsed into to's - turnovers - which resulted to easy baskets by their opponents. The Raptors running is like a running toilet. It's wasteful. ' Men are wired differently from us ' chorused the women of the TV show The View in explaining the actions of disgraced NY Governor Elliot Pritzer after he was caught in the call girl/ sex scandal . That's it. The Raps are wired differently from the run and gun western teams . If they are to win , TO must play deliberate ball. It must consume close to 24 secs before making an attempt at the basket. Forget the running game Sam. TO is not wired to run . The Raptors are good in running only in one thing . They run well only when there is a basketball fight in the hardcourt !

Tonight is the Raptors best chance of scoring a roadkill. After the Kings , they will face the Utah Jazz - just another team with an excellent winning record. If Sam won't change his strategy , expect a fruitless road trip. Sam and the fans will explode like IEDs . No roadkill means roadrage !

Top Ten Ways to Turn the 'Soft' Raptors to Toughies

2008-03-10T21:05:00.006-04:00

10. Get Miami Heat's Johnson to be Bargani's buddy/teammate.

9. Replace Raptors' drink from Gatorade to Tabasco's hot sauce.

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8. Hire ex-Raptors tough guys Charles Oakley, Chris Childs, Kevin Willis and Vince Carter. Oops.. Definitely not VC.

7. Instead of coach Sam Mitchell and his staff wearing suits, they must wear macho attire.

6. Inject 'Forderon' with HGH and steroids.

5. Replace Dino mascot with Godzilla.

4. Use Edwin Starr's "War" as intro music and use roadside bomb as used in Afghanistan as fireworks.

3. Hire American Idol's Simon Cowell as the Raptor's PA announcer. Every Raptor will make sure not to play lousy or else Simon will call them out.

2. Promise the Raptor's starting lineup that they will be in Charles Barkley's fave five if they will play tough.

And the number 1 way to make the 'soft' Raptors tough is to let every Raptor wear a Hannibal Lecter mask.

Raptors' Bench Is Deep .......In Deep Shit !

2008-03-03T18:24:00.017-05:00

To those fans who adhere to the belief that Toronto Raptors has a deep bench .... think again. After successive losses to also ran Indiana Pacers and lowly Charlotte Hornets , those believers are suddenly scratching their eggs ... err .. I mean , their heads now. That's why an outsider's view of the TO squad's bench strength is a million times more dependable. Clyde Frazier was asked last night if the Raptors stand a chance of winning the Eastern conference. ' No way. The Raptors lack quality players ' said the ex Knicks great. What ? How about what the homers are saying that the Raps' bench is 10 deep ? Maybe the bench is 6 feet deep . Six feet deep down under ! Now , even Primos 'Prozac' Brezec thinks the Raptors are soft as he said last night to Charlotte reporters. That coming from a new guy who talks tough but who also have a soft game. Is that mouth guard tough enough to chew , Primoz ?
The successive defeats by the Raptors were atrocious. ' The Raptors played like they don't care . They were completely outrebounded ' said radio/TV sports show host Bobcat of the loss to the Bobcats during the telecast of his program this afternoon .Last night , Charlotte waylaid TO , 98-116 , outscoring them 32-0 in second chance points . This came at the heels of a double digit loss to Grangerless Indiana Pacers. The Raps were Boshless but nevertheless the Bobcats were Wallaceless too. So the Raps are winning streakless for sure despite the prediction of many so called experts that this particular stretch of the schedule will be easy. The reality is that TO is now facing a 3 game l o s i n g streak . Yup. The Raps are sure to suffer their 3rd consecutive defeat at the hands of Superman ( they play Dwight Howard and the Magic next) unless the Raps find a kryptonite. I'd say , to win vs. the Magic , the Raps just don't need to play crap tonite !

' Non American Gangster ' Adds To Knicks' Depression

2008-02-25T12:02:00.020-05:00

The Raptors got back at the Knicks rather emphatically . Well, at least in the 2nd half of last night's blowout game, 115-92. Everybody in the Rap's camp was aching for a revenge including a seldom used player Rasheed Wallace called gangsta. Primo Brezec was so animated last night as he repeatedly raised his arm and signalled 'I'm no. 1 ' with his finger everytime he scored . Hmm. Number 1 in what ? . Ahh , I know . Public Enemy No. 1 when the Raps visit NY next time...at least , to the Knicks TV announcing crew. Here are samples of what Cylde Frazier and his partner said about Brezec. ' The guy is basket hanging . That's how he made his points ' said Cylde. Well , I agree. Twice last night , Brezec got fastbreak baskets by staying in the backcourt while all others were back in the frontcourt. Can't blame the guy. He hardly played in Charlotte and Detroit before being jettisoned to Toronto. When Brezec made his 2nd dunk and raised his finger in the air once more , Clyde's partner commented. ' Brezec is either showing enthusiasm or he is showboating . I'd say, he's showboating '. He, he . The problem with Brezec's untimely show of bravado was that the game's outcome was long determined by then. It's obvious that Brezec has now recovered from his depression caused by another Sam's (Vincent) actions. Nothing that a dose of playing time ....and medication can't cure . Brezec is now known as Primo ' Prozac ' Brezec !

Lucky for Prozac , I mean , Brezec , that the Raps are not playing in NY and that it was the Academy Awards night . Knicks' die hard Spike Lee was at the Kodak Theater laughing at Oscar host J. Stewart's jokes. But deep inside Spike was kinda sad I'm sure . Not only was his Knicks beaten by a team led by foreign players - Andrea Bargnani's 25 points and Jose Calderon's excellent playmaking , his man Danzel's American Gangster was shut out of the major awards ..... by foreign players of the celluloid screen !

Randolph Gives Bosh A Finger .....In The Eye As The Raps' Loss To The Knicks

2008-02-23T13:37:00.024-05:00

The Raptor Killer striked again . Placed a dagger 43 in long in the Raptors' chest . Can't the Raps guard this Jamal ? But 1st , they must know their geometry . ' I thought I was close enought to him but apparently not ' said Jamario Moon after Jamal buried a 3 point shot with the score close and the time down to a few minutes in the game the Knicks won , 99-103. The man Walt 'Clyde' Frazier dubbed the master of off balanced shots threw the whole Raptors unbalanced all night with his 43 big points . The Raps opened the game in the 1st quarter with a big number of turnovers (especially compared with the Knicks ) but looked like they will have an easy sailing . Nope . The Raps let their opponents find their groove leading a mere 2 points after the initial half. Last night's loss to a team everyone in the NBA agrees is the suckiest team was the kind that will lose them many fans . Coming at the time that the Raptors TV ratings are beginning to climb up , this is bad news . Maybe , they will watch watch American Idol instead . Ooops , maybe not. Paula Abdul's name might remind them of Jamal !
The 2nd half was a different story . ' The 1st half is all offense but the 2nd half is all defense ' said Cyde . Not really . Zach Randolph introduced his 'offensive' finger to CB4's eye forcing Bosh to throw an awkward shot which missed the basket like a car without a GPS. Bosh closed his eyes for a long time while down on the floor like a Muslim doing his salah (right photo ). When Bosh got up , he gave the refs a mouthful . No ' t ' was given him as the refs gave Bosh the respect he deserved being the Raptors' main guy according to Cylde . Actually , Bosh commited a series of errors at that point in time with the Lilliputian Nate Robinson helping Zack double team, well more correctly , 1 1/2 team Bosh everytime the ball was in his hands. Actually , the Raps still have a good chance to catch up until Moon woke up to discover his name was not Jamario Kapono . It's more like J. KaputNo. Moon, who made all his four 3 points shots earlier, missed the rest of his attempts from the long range. Should not Moon be dunking from the 3 point line instead ? Give Moon a tape he could put on the floor please !

Moon : Next year , I'm joining the 3 point shooting contest .... at circus soleil !

Kapono Hoists 3 Point Shooting Trophy ... And Trophy Wife !

2008-02-19T11:42:00.012-05:00

Why isn't Jason Kapono logging more minutes ? This question was asked over and over again during the recently concluded All Star weekend in New Orleans. Even TNT's panel wondered why the back to back 3 shooting point King failed to convince coach Sam Mitchell he's not only a pretty boy but he has a pretty good game to boot ! ' The Raptors overpaid for Kapono ' added one of the panelist. I wonder if B.C. used all the team's free agent money just to get a fellow paisano in Raps' uniform ? I could understand if B.C. overpaid to get JK's wife in a Raptors dancer's uni ! Talking about player's mate , why do I get the feeling that CB4's girlfriend is another Mrs. Antonio Davis . She looks the dominating type , if not annoying . She was shown miggling with NBA All Stars 'Melo , LBJ and of course Bosh. The other wives and GFs were in the background . Uh oh .Bosh should think very hard before commiting to her.' Why is Bosh's GF's forehead big ? my wife asked. ' Simple. That means , she is wise ' I answered. Uh oh again. Not Mrs. Paul Mc Cartney wise . Let's see Chris use his vaunted fast 1st step to drive past another big man ... err , big forehead .

The importance of choosing the right partner is really important for NBA stars. The divorce situ in the NBA scene is not as brutal as Hollywood 's but it is approaching that. Proofs are the recent divorces of Shaq , DWade , Jason Kidd and VC . Why ? In the case of DWade , who was tied up with his 'old' wife since in high school , he is surely in search of a trophy. Naw , not the NBA trophy but a trophy wife !

Chris' GF : Go CB4head ! Go CB4head ! Go CB4head !

Jemario Will Make TO Forget About VC , Finally ?

2008-02-16T07:40:00.022-05:00

Jemario Moon will be in the centerstage tonight with the Slam Dunk contest finally on the way. Moon have some large shoes to fill as far as Toronto fans are concern. He's got VC 's stinking shoes to fill. The Raptors fans can't seem to forget VC. They still booed him after all these years as evidenced by their reactions when the New Jersey Nets played (with) the Raps last Wednesday night. The NBA world is looking forward to Moon's dunks after viewing his you tube teaser . The video showed his feet jumping way pass the foul line. Did he really took off from that spot and dunk ? Maybe , it's just the video game Moon like the images shown on the right photo. I'm reminded of the time when Josh Smith placed masking tapes on some spots on the court before his dunk in the previous SD contest. People thought then that Josh will take off from one of the marked spots which were really far from from the rim . Nothing is farther from the truth . Josh made the marks only to guide his path towards the basket. ' He should have not taped the floor. People were misled to believing he will jump from those spots ' said TNT's Kenny Smith who incidentally picked Moon to be the next SD champion. Charles Barkley , a fellow Alabaman like Moon ( that makes them , Alabamen ) does'nt seem as enamored as Smith of Moon. That's one vote less for Barkley should he decide to run for Governor of Alabama. One thing sure though , Barkley is voting for Barack Obama ! Jemario Moon will regret his you tube trailer if he cannot accomplish what Dr. J , MJ , and KJ (that's Vince Carter ) failed to do before him- take off from way pass the foul line. Otherwise , Moon should do better in the trailer business. No , not the kind that proliferate in post Katrina New Orleans ( site of this year's All Star ). I meant, the movie trailer business !

Half Man , Half Amazon .

2008-02-14T20:33:00.030-05:00

It's halftime in the NBA . It's time to grade the Raptors' performance the 1st half of the current season. Many homos ( for homo sapiens) fans will give the Raps a B+ . Even an A- . Not me . I will give the Raps a ----. In this afternoon TV/radio simulcast of his sports talkshow , Bob McCowan asked Raptors basketball Analyst Jack Armstrong how he rates the 1st half performance of Toronto's basketball team . ' They are OK. In the 15 winning teams of the NBA this season , the Raptors will be in the bottom 3rd of the pack ' said Jack.That's why Jack is the half acceptable of the 3 men in the Raptors TV booth . He's not ultra homer like Chuckie or uber ' know it all ' like Leo. Jack is OK ... like the Raps now ( according to Jack) . I guess , Jack is a glass half full , half empty guy . Or more appropriately , half fool , half empty guy !
Jack's semi off tangent assesment reminds of a lady named F-----. She's a knockout and smart too. But something is wrong with her eyes . Why ? She insists that the delicate beauty , Keira Knightley , of the '08 Oscar nominated film Atonement is not beautiful..... and worst , that she's manly. Keira an Amazonic beauty ? Arrhgg. Kiera is definitely not manly ! Just like many Raptors fans can't see straight when it comes to their beloved team. It's obvious that the Raptors 1) can't play defense 2) have no consistent go to guy 3) have mediocre inside play. The worst is that the Raptors are not manly . Just like Keira , the Raptors are feminine when it comes rough and rugged plays of the NBA . They are soft , Keira soft . In fact , the Raptors can be called KeiRaptors !

Keira : Me , manly ? I wonder why .

They Tried To Make T.J. Go To Rehab .

2008-02-12T19:47:00.006-05:00

Yes , T.J. Ford is going back to rehab like Grammy award winner Amy Winehouse. Or at least, his wrist will need unspraining . Last night , in a loss to the San Antonio Spurs , 88-93 , T.J. suffered a sprained wrist. I don't know why T.J. wants to continue playing . I think he's too fragile now. Why don't he just join Amy (left photo) in the rehab ? T.J. admit it . You are addicted. Addicted to playing basketball. Next time , it might be your neck that will be broken ...or slashed like Richard Zednik of the Florida Panthers in last week's NHL game. Now, the whole hockey world is talking about NHL players wearing neck pads . Hmmm. Maybe T.J. will be 100% protected by wearing a pad. A body pad . Here is how T.J. will look like in a body pad .

Very dissapointing in last night's game was CB4's game. He was limited in points and rebounds. Hardly the game worthy of an All Star. Yes , Oberto defended Bosh very well but it was also because CB4 settled for outside shots. What's really wrong with Bosh ? I'd say that Bosh is pre occupied with making you tube videos. He made another one after the highly acclaimed Vote For Me To Be An All Star you tube . That's the trouble with athletes dabbling in acting. It can be addicting to the detriment of their real careers. Look at Serena Williams and Will Ferrel. Ooops . That Ferrel guy made so many sports movie - Talledega Nights , Blades Of Glory and the basketball film Semi Pro - that I thought he's a real athlete. Anyways , ball players should stick to playing ball not acting . After all , there is enuff acting in the hardcourt . Only it's called flopping !

The Quick Brown Fox Will Jump Over The Crazy Dog ?

2008-02-08T23:26:00.000-05:00

LA Clippers upset the Raptors ? Raps' fans in turn suffered upset stomachs en masse . Why not ? A Cassel less Clips with no brand .. err , I mean , with no Elton Brand winning over the Toronto dribblers , 98-102. What a shock ! Coach Sam Mitchell better watch out . If the Raps suffer more defeats like this one tonight , jobhunting Larry Brown might suddenly find another team to add to his mile long resume. The famed coach is reported to be desperately looking for a bench role even as an Assistant coach in any team except the Sixers and of course the NY Knicks. ' He (Brown) wants to coach again. It's in his blood . He's sincere and there's no doubt that he wants to coach again ' said his friend and Spurs coach Popovich in New York tonight. Detroit with GM Joe Dumar never reached the NBA championships ( and won it in 2003 ) until the Pistons replaced Rick Carlisle , a 50 consecutive regular season winning coach , with Larry Brown. However , MLSE needs eHarmony to know if the Raps and coach Brown are compatible not like the 2 shown in the above photo.
Sam is a 47 game winner last season. He is likely not be able to duplicate that record this season at the rate things are going . Tsk , tsk , tsk. It's time to call the Grandfather again (shown on the right photo before he shaved his facial hairs for his photo for his passport needed to enter Canada) . Actually, Sam started to do that. This week , Raptors VP or consiglieri Wayne Embry's name resurfaced after an long absence from the news . Sam quoted Embry as saying something like this ' A coach job is to coach and a GM job is to put together the best lineup '. That's implying that GM Bryan Colangelo bears the responsibility of shaking the present roster to make it more competitive. Sam is saying that there is nothing more he can extract from his men except maybe more you tube videos the likes that CB4 and Moon came up with to bolster their quests for an All Star slot and the Slam Dunk contest . A 1st round playoff stint or at best , a 2nd round appearance by Sam's men is it. Just like Fredo and other characters in Godfather 2 , the Raptors will not be in the sequel to the sequel or.... triquel ?
The acquisition of Pau Gasol would have been sufficient to capture the East . Where was BC then ? BC could have used his influence on longtime Suns assistant and now Memphis coach Marc Ivaroni to acquire the Spanish center and reunite Pau with amigo Jose Calderon in the Raps' uniform . Too bad for Sam though . BC is no Rob Babcock . Meaning , BC is no pushover unlike Babcock. Babcock was ejected from the GM position partly because Sam has Wayne on his side. In short , Sam was in Wayne's World and Babcock was not . It's very likely that if the Raps failed to get pass the 1st round , Sam will be samwhere else outside of Toronto !

Pau : Jose , I now anoint you as Master Of Your Own Universe ,

Snow Storm Kobe Hits Toronto Again.

2008-02-02T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last night's game showed the fans of the Raptors how far their team is from respectablility . The result a 101-121 loss in the hands of the undermanned LA Lakers underscored GM Bryan Colangelo's failure to address the main weakness of the Raptors. This team is easilly intimated by real deadly opposition. And that's exactly what the Raps faced last night. Like the Detroit Pistons , the Suns and Mavs , the Lakers will cut your throat if they see you are patsies. Yes , TO whupped the Spurs but San Antonio is not the same team this season . ' We are not playing well lately ' said Spur Manu Ginobili as his team suffered 4 straight losses before beating the Suns last Thursday. LA are deadly as long as the Kobe aka the Black Mamba is there. Last night , Kobe exploded for 46 points. No wonder , Kobe is called the Black Mamba because he's as deadly as the venomenous snake from Africa. The Raps guarding Kobe especially AP and Delfino were like bitten by a snake as they remain motionless as Kobe drived to the basket over and over again last night. ESPN's replayed the one man dunkathon a thousand times to the embarrasment of TO's fans. It even mentioned that the Raptors are Kobe's fav whipping boys . Bryant averaged almost 28 ppg vs. TO more than any other NBA team. Who can forget the 81 points Kobe scored vs. the Raps 2 seasons ago ? B.C. , do something please. You need to stop Kobe shaming your team . It's time your team adopt a tough mentality. Start by getting a real tough guy. Maybe even try Ruben Petterson , the self proclaimed Kobe Stopper..... or get the service of Raptors' Superfan (shown on the right photo with Ms.Carter , the mother of another kind of snake) . After all , Superfan is a known snake charmer !

Just look at Kobe has to say after the game . ' I think we are really excited about the great oppportunity in front of us ' said Kobe after noting that the team suited up only 8 players . A great oppportunity for a win on the road with only 8 players ? Should not Sam be saying that ? Ha, I know . Kobe is a feng shui believer. In China , the no. 8 is a lucky number. And this year being 2008, makes it pretty special. Ask the Beijing Olympic organizers . They will open the summer Olympics to be held in China at exactly 8 a.m. on 8/8/08 ! I guess Kobe is a believer all right of the number 8. The former no.8 aka the Black Mamba , 8 the Raptors again last night ! Yum, yum .

Kobe : I'll eat your empty head next 'coz I'm on a diet.

Sam Suffering From ADD !

2008-01-28T17:43:00.000-05:00

The US media continues the snubbing of the Raptors according to coach Sam Mitchell. 'I look at the news . I look at Inside The NBA . I look at these (NBA programs) and no one ever mentions our names ' said Sam who is known for his grouchiness to the local media. Just this Sunday , in ABC/ESPN's doubleheader , the network ignored the Raptors once again . The nationally televised games in U.S. featured 3 Eastern Conference teams ( the Celtics , the Magic and the Cavs ).' People forget we beat Boston and they beat us in O.T. at home ' added Sam as reported in today's Toronto Star. What do you expect, Sam ? The C's are big again , the Cavs have LBJ and the Magic team is magically transformed to a contender this season by nice guy Stan Van Gundy. There you are Sam . You need not have a team with a tradition like the C's or a team with a megastar like the Cavs . The Raps will get the attention of the US media if you are an effective and at the same time a likeable coach like Stan VG . Even Jesus will bless the Raptors if you are nice like President wanna bes Huckabee or Obama. Remember , be like Stan VG and not be Sam VG.... that is Sam Van Grumpy !

' The NBA is big when the Celtics , the Lakers , the Knicks , the Sixers are very good teams.' said the ESPN sportstalk radio guy yesterday . He noted many people in the crowd at Orlando wearing Boston's replica uniforms or t shirts with the C's logo in the game between the C's and the Magic. Those T shirts and unis must be leftovers from the Bird era. I even saw a man wearing a Mc Hale uni ! There must lots of the leftovers in the bargain stores all over the Magic Kingdom . But no worry Raptors' fans. At least 2 NBA TV Analysts think Chris Bosh and Jose Calderon are worthy of inclusion in this year's NBA All Star. Sort of . NY Post's Peter Vecsey did not actually include Jose in his reserve list but he said that he has no problem if Jose was named as a reserve. However , Vecsey's co Analyst-Johnson- cited the 2 named Raptors as worthy of being All Stars this year. The Raps will be well represented in the coming NBA All Star to held in New Orleans. Aside from CB4 and Jose in the All Star game , there is Jemario Moon in the Slam Dunk contest , Jason Kapono in the 3 point Shootfest and Bargs with the Sophomore team . Oh , I almost forgot . Derrick Martin will be there too . DMart will represent the Raps in the Are You Taller Than A 5th Grader contest !

Martin : No way Jose . You cannot steal the ball from me .LOL.

Jose : Of course , Estupido. The ball is glued to your hand . Grrr.

MiColangelo's Masterpiece

2008-01-23T12:31:00.000-05:00

Maple Leaf Sports And Entertainment (MLSE) via executive Richard Peddie is following the Toronto Raptors' template in the plan to revitalize its hockey franchise. ' Like what we did with the hiring of GM Bryan Colangelo , we will form a 3 man search commitee to get the best man for the job ' said Peddie after the firing of the Leafs' GM yesterday. Even TO sportscasters always mention the Colangelo masterstroke as if his hiring for the basketball franchise has already produced an NBA championship. Look again puckheads , the Raps are still mired in mediocrity. They are still struggling against the likes of the Pistons and now the Celtics . Maybe even the Magic. OK ,OK the Raps made it to the playoffs in the 1st year of BC's takeover from Rob Babcock. Hey , it so happen that the East last year was as weak as the US dollar now. And they captured the Atlantic Division only 'coz Boston and NJ not to mention New York were in a state of stuppor .... or stupidity . Whatever . This year , its a different story in the AD . The Atlantic , B.C. is different from the Atlantic , A.D. !

Let's just review some of BC's main moves . The man pulled the trigger on the TJ-Charlie V. trade at the start of his tenure here. I was against it as I believed then that not only is Charlie V. valuable (that is what V stands for ) but his replacement ,TJ Ford is fragile. Not only that , I have always thought that Jose can be the main PG for the Raptors even then. Now just about every NBA team wants Jose as it's primero guardia.. ' Calderon can be the point guard for 23 NBA teams ' said the Atlanta Hawks' TV guy. Alas , that other premiere PG is under PG ....Parental Guidance . TJ is sidelined up to now and may not last his contract if he gets another Al HurtFord like hit. What about the choice of Andrea Bargnani as the no.1 pick in last year's draft ? 'It's the first time TO got a #1 pick and we wasted it' said my wife . Seems that way as the # 1 pick picks his Italian nose while continue to ride Sam's bench. 'No need to worry ' the Raptors head honcho was reported to have said as he try to get Bargnani a 'special coach' . What's more worrying was the news that Colangelo reportedly thinks that it will take 5 years for Bargs to blossom . Hmm. That's allright to Italians I guess. After all , it took them forever to identify the real Mona Liza of the other Colangelo , painter Michaelangelo !

Raptors Fail To Hang 76ers .

2008-01-20T12:23:00.000-05:00

I can't understand why the Raptors are so not caring of each other. The other night against the Atlanta Hawks , point guard Jose Calderon was elbowed on the head in full view of his fellow Raps by an obviously irritated Anthony Johnson. Jose fell down writhing in pain while holding the back of his head. ' Johnson and Calderon are going at it in earlier plays ' the Hawk TV man said. In short , an explosion of tempers was expected . Maybe for the Hawks but not the timid TO dribblers. The Raptors are known softies. If anything is gonna explode for the Raptors , its their tear ducts ( photo on the right) . No even one of them confronted Johnson after the flagrant foul on Jose . Definitely not the team leader Chris Bosh. Oh yes, CB4 asked the ACC fans before the game to boo hard Hawk Al Harford for the flagrant foul he gave TJ Ford the 1st time the 2 teams met.Many gullible fans followed his advice . Maybe, Bosh wanted the fans to lynch Johnson ? No way . Lynching is for civilized sports like golf !
The timid Raptors got lynched themselves last night by the lowly 76ers, 95-99. The Raptors played tired as this was their 5th game in 4 nights . Raptors TV guy Leo Rautins said coach Sam Mitchell should tell his guys ' to suck it up, this is the NBA ' or something like that. True but somehow coming from an NBA fakee like Rautins , the statement 'kinda rattle the heck out of NBA lifers like me. More so after he and Chuck touched on his Philly NBA career for the nth time. Why don't the 2 reveal the truth once and for all that Leo's forgettable NBA career(?) lasted the whole of 32 games sitting on the bench of 2 teams (the Atlanta Hawks being the other team ) and then shut up. Everytime the Raptors are in Philly , this discussion (about Leo's so called NBA career ) bubbles up like it's worthy of TV minutes. Enough already. The 2 should put it to rest like AP has written Britney Spears' obituary !

Britney : Ooops . The Hawks did it again . They fagrant fouled the Raps again and again ...

Toronto Raptors , The John Edwards Of The NBA

2008-01-16T17:51:00.000-05:00

That's life . ' John Edwards is not talk about by the media' said a person in charge of the former Senator's campaign last night when interviewed by Chris Matthews of MSNBC. You are right. All media chatters are about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton because the 2 are exciting candidates ... that's why they are frontrunners . This complain reminds me of the rantings coming from Raptors' fans . The attention in the East is centered on the Celtics and the Pistons. The C's because they are suddenly the Obama of the NBA . On the other hand , the Pistons are like the Clintons - good up to now ....especially compared with Dubya whos tenure is likely to end in a recession. So Raps' fans , open your eyes. This current team is mediocre . If you guys want ESPN to cover more Raptors' games, start winning consistently like the Suns , the Spurs and the Mavs or start playing exciting ball like the Warriors , the Lakers ( with Kobe) and the Cavs (with James). Let's see . You think team leader Chris Bosh is the same class as LBJ , D Wade and 'Melo ? Yeah , the 4 are in the same draft class. Period. Last night , CB4 was reduced to an also ran again by the big men of Motown . He dissapeared as usual when the game is against big time opponents. Wait until the playoffs begin .. or should I say the layoffs begin.
If Raptors' fans and Chuckie want US media to cover the team more often , they must either get a true superstar or a bunch of fearless players. Bargnani is proving to be a dud. The Italian should show more fire at least. Il Mago is more like Il Logo. Completely flat. Watching Jose , Humpries and Rasho is not the same as watching Capt. Jack and his men. OK , OK, Jemario Moon shows some promise. The guy even got some ink from USA Today recently. But Moon missed more dunks that I can count. Wonder why the NBA invited the man to participate in the Slam Dunk contest in this year's All Star celebration ? Who knows . Maybe Moon will show the crowd something something . After all , this is the NBA - where amazing things happen !

Bipolar Raptors Lose To The Cavs !

2008-01-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

The Toronto Raptors showed its erratic behaviour once more. Playing great at one stretch of the game and completely collapsing at the homestretch against the Cleveland Cavaliers . The Dinos are a complete wreck after the game which they lost , 90-93. Earlier proofs of the ups and downs wrong with this team , the Raps beat heavyweights Hornets and the Spurs but lost to so so Sonics and newbies Blazers in their western trip. Toronto led King James and his underperforming team by 20 big points in the 1st quarter. They prefer to be ecstatic with sporadic show of spectacular blocks and dunks especially from crowd fav Jamario Moon rather than playing consistent basketball. ' The Raptors are sharing by ball well with 9 assists in the 1st quarter alone ' said ex NBA great Cazzie Russell .What more , the team shot a high 69% in the 1st quarter of the ballgame to take advantage of the usual slow start of the Cavs. And how did the Raps shoot in the final half ? in the 30's ! This team is serious trouble because they are not stable. Not even the presence of GM Colangelo shown here talking to a psychiatrist (?) perhaps , Asst GM Mauricio G. and Advisor Wayne Embry seemed to help in the Raptors stability . Huh ? Maybe the team needs Phil . No , not coach Phil Jackson ...... but Dr. Phil who was reported to be helping Britney's bipolar behavior !!!

There were reports after the game that someone in the Raptors' bench heckled King James causing him to explode for 24 points in the 4th quater ? ' I was not a good idea ' said CBC's Elliott Friedman . WTF ! Can't coach Sam Mitchell control his bench players ? Better gag those loudmouths next time . One thing you don't do is make the King show what he can do to your team . James is like Michael Jordan who was always looking at even the minimum reason to spark himself .It can be a coach's comment or an opposing player boast of stopping hiis scoring. If you make LBJ angry , you in turn be .....hungry .... for a win !

LBJ : I warned you Raps . No talking while I'm blowing ..... past your guards !!

TO Stares Deathroit In The Eyes .

2008-01-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

Kaput. Tonite the Raptors are facing a tough battle. It's very likely that they will be the Pistons next victims. Detroit is playing high quality basketball that even Boston suffered it's 1st home defeat at the hands of the Pistons. However , I do not discount the possibility of an upset. After all , Obama beat Hillary in Iowa despite the naysayers' initial predictions. ' You have done what the cynics say you cannot do ' said Barack O. to the Iowans after his victory . The problem is Sam is not an inspiring black man like Obama. While Obama's speeches inspire his supporters to ' go out and vote en masse ' . Sam's seem to have no effect on his players ! That's why the Raps are sometimes hot and sometimes as cold as a cat's nose. Sam be like Obama .... not like OSama !

For the Raptors to win the game tonight , they must play flawless basketball. Bargs must make his 3 point shots , CB4 must deliver from both ends of the court and Jose must not be rattled by the Pistons' guards. For sure Billups will body Jose up like Mr. Big Shot did to the Celtics' Rajan Rondo. Watch out also for ex Raptor Lindsay Hunter harassing defense on Jose . Coach Flip Saunders always apply the fullcourt defense even for a brief period when Hunter is on the court. That's the old element of surprise trick which is often good for 2-3 turnovers. That's enough to win a ballgame like what the Pistons did to the C's when the latter lost by a slim margin only. Hunter stole the ball at the midcourt at least 2 times . No worry . Jose is super smart . The Pistons' guards won't steal the ball from him. .... even if he eats the ball to hide it !

Raptors Beat Spurs And Win NBA Championshi....

2007-12-29T11:09:00.000-05:00

Not quite. At least the victory stopped the continuous slide of the Raps starting with the loss to Portland. And TO did it with a gigantic victory over reigning NBA champs, the San Antonio Spurs, 83-73. The 6 day rest gave the Raptors' coaching staff much needed time to plot the team's strategy especially versus the deadly duo of Tim Duncan and Eva Longra... I mean Tony Parker. Even former Spurs great and current TV man Sam Elliot was expecting a rustier Raptors but was surprised its the other way around. ' Tony should be pushing the ball ' Elliot repeatedly said especially in the 2nd half of the game. Parker seemed slow last night as if his body was still in plaster (right photo) And all the pushings were done by the Raps especially on Tim Duncan by Andrea Bargnani and Kris Humphries. ' I do care about us not being physical ' Spurs' coach Popovich* said of the lame efforts by his team. Why even the ref almost got physical with his team. One ref went chest to chest with Matt Bonner before giving the ex Raptors a ' t ' last night. ' I don't agree with the ref doing that ' said Elliot of the official's actuation. Hah ! I'm sure the refs still remember the Tim Duncan-Joey Crawford incident that led to their fellow ref getting banned from officiating in the NBA . After that Duncan got his ' t ' to make it 4 technicals in all aside from 2 gotten earlier by their coach. No smiling especially no taunting from 'ya all Spurs . Don't ya all know that refs are like that Siberian tiger that ma uled 3 teenagers in San Fran Zoo recently. That's why refs and tigers both have stripes !

*Tim to Tony : Physical ? Let me give you a physical exam , Tony . Your right ear is dirty !
Tony : That's not dirt. That's Eva's chewing gum left there last night.

Top 10 Holiday Wishes In Raptorland !

2007-12-24T10:17:00.000-05:00

No. 10 by Andrea Bargnani . That my mojo will return soon.

No. 9 by Jorge Garbajosa . That mys legs will return soon ! ( first , where are my shoes ? )

No. 8 by Chris Bosh . That there will be more 42 point games like that game in Phoenix.

No. 7 by Sam Mitchell . That there will be no more games in Phoenix period ! (except maybe a hockey game eh , Mr. Nash )

No. 6 by Jamario Moon . That I'm not 27 years old but just a 21 year old like Kevin Durant.

No. 5 also by Jamario Moon . That I won't see the likes of 21 year old rookie again who torched me for 27 points !

No. 4 by by Carlos Delfino . That the Phoenix Suns TV guys don't refer to me as a Jimmy Fallon look alike.

No. 3 by Carlos Delfino again . ....... come to think of it , it's not so bad.... as long as I don't play like Jimmy Fallon !

No. 2. by T.J. Ford . That I can play basketball again . I don't see why not.

No. 1 by Jose Calderon . That T.J. can play basketball again ..... at the local 'Y' , ' y ' not !

Feliz Navidad T.J. !

Carlesimo And His Team Choke TO.

2007-12-22T10:54:00.000-05:00

There are not even halfway down their western trip and the Raptors are already showing signs of fatigue. Not good . The Raps lost to 2 'beatable' teams in the Blazers and the Sonics. And some peeps say that the Raps cannot beat 1st class teams . They surely proved them people wrong ! Hah , Sam Mitchell is an equal opportunity loser . Actually , Portland is playing good basketball lately winning its last 10 games but Seattle is a different story. The Sonics were blown away by the Hornets prior to their meeting and beating the Raptors last night , 123-113. You can say that P.J. Carlesimo outcoached Sam . How else can you explain the loss inspite of TO's overwhelming edge in manpower. When the Raps scored 2 straight 3 pt.shots , P.J. said the team went from playing the zone back to playing man to man . P.J put the rookie Jeff Green on Chris Bosh when CB4 started scoring. ' I guess you can call me a defensive stopper now ' said the rook as he prided himself in effectively harrassing Bosh and even Jason Kapono. P.J. is not afraid to give a veteran player a bawling when there is a need for one. ' Oh yeah , he yelled at me during a timeout. He was right ' explained Walt Sczerbiak of P.J.'s verbal barrage on him taking an early shot when the Sonics need to run out the clock. ' 'Everybody who came in picked us up ' said P.J. Carlesimo. I think Sam would have like to pick P.J. by the neck !
One thing noticeable last night and I guess the previous games was how sorry looking Andrea Bargnani is now . The Italian with his week old beard and a bandaged knee was a far cry compared to the hyper Sonics' prized rookie Kevin Durant. Durant scored from all kinds of offensive moves. The dude was intensity personified especially when he stuffed the ball hard causing the spheroid to bounce on the head of Rasho after going through the hoop. What a poster material it would make ! In comparison , Bargs was pictured as a one trick phony by the Sonics TV guys. ' He does'nt like to play with his back to the basket ' said them. At the rate Bargs is playing , he does'nt want to continue playing period . And yes Bargs likes to play with his back .......... to the TV cameras !

Andrea : My beard ? The beard is a product placement like Lindsay Lohan's display of anti smoking medication package !

White Men Can't Jump .....Teams !

2007-12-19T11:51:00.000-05:00

The Toronto Raptors took care of their 1st opponents in this western swing by disposing the wingless LA Clippers. How pathetic are the Clips ? Consider these :

1. their total shooting percentage (40%) is lower than TO's 3 point shooting percentage (42%).

2. they failed to reach the century mark in 9 of the last 10 games. No burritos for you amigos .

3. they have a losing record (9-16) better only than the Grizzlies.

4. they still have no Elton Brand , Sam Cassell and other supporting players.

In other words , LA is as dead as a duck. I bet the LA players are all planning to escape from LA !

The Raps stoop to the level of competition in the 1st half of the game . It's good they decided to play their game in the 2nd half limiting the Clips to just 28 points in the final half .Bosh showed up with Moon matching his season high 16 points. In as much as there were only 4 games Tuesday night , Moon's block on Chris Kaman's shot made it to ESPN Sportscenter's hightlight. Sweeet. No worry Chris Kaman's fans . Coach Sam Mitchell was all praise for the Clip's center. ' Kaman is the 2nd best center in the West next to Tim Duncan.I am amazed at Kaman's improvement year after year ' Sam profusely praised the UM graduate. Hmmm. Is Sam courting Kaman to jump ship after his contract is over? Normally , Sam reserves his hossanahs to the likes of LBJ and KG . That only means Hossanah Jesus Chris (Kaman ), Superstar . I don't blame Sammy boy. The Raps need a Great White Hope to improve their TV ratings. Imagine the ratings of curling and obscure winter sports being better than the Raptors' games on TV ! What would it take for Canadians to watch a basketball game ? Play the damn game on ice !

If The Raptors Are Real Dinosaurs ....

2007-12-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

1. Chris Bosh will be a long neck Sauropaud dinosaur...

2. T.J. Ford and Jose Calderon will be the agile and swift Deinochus dinosaurs....

3. Rasho Nestorovich will be a slow moving Edmontausarus dinosour. ..

4. Jamario Moon will be a bird like Compsognatus dinosour ...

5. Carlos Delfino will be like a ferocious Herrerasaurus dinosaur discovered in Argentina.. .

6......and lastly , Darrick Martin will be the smallish , fat and bald Barney dinosour.

Time To Call Home Depot For Retooling !

2007-12-16T20:43:00.000-05:00

After an impressive come from the anus victory over the Indiana Pacers including Tingsley and his brothers , Raps' fans envisioned a tight game this afternoon. The only tight one I saw in this game was Big Baby' (Davis) stomach. In fact, the game was Boston all the way. The C's led by as much as 21 points as early as the 1st half. I was waiting for the Raptors' run but TO managed to come close by 10 points only. Oh , the Raptors did ran ... they ran towards the dugout in shame . ' The Raptors better get used to the Celtics. Boston will be in their faces this season ' warned ultimate homer , Tommy Heinsohn , Boston's basketball Analyst. Translation : Surrender the Atlantic Division pennant now. Raps better retool quick . Retool with the Cs' lineup in mind. Call Home Depot. They can help. Right now , Sam, the Builder , not the Coach is needed !
The guns of the Raptors were terribly off today. Parker (2 out 8 FG) can't get untracked. Except briefy in the 4th quarter , Kapono (3/9) did not get untracked . Delfino was complety off the track (1/4). And Bargnani (1/3) should be driving a truck instead of playing basketball. Bargs simply was atrocious ! All his attempts at the basket were forced and uncoordinated. What happened to the smooth release Bargs is known for ? If Bargs does'nt shape up , he will be released by B.C . and that won't be smooth as well . The truth is the result of today's game was not a surprise to B.C. and the fans I'm sure. TO is a perimeter shooting team. If the outside game is not working , the Raps don't have an outside chance. The team needs one who can play strong inside. A proven penetrator . Like a Ron Jeremy . Ooops wrong kind of penetrator. I mean a Ron Artest ! One with a strong inside game and a decent outside game. The other Ron plays a strong indecent inside game !

Ron J. : I also have an excellent work ethic.....or is it an excellent unethical work ? Whatever !

Not Ready To Make Mice....Err ...Nice .

2007-12-13T13:16:00.000-05:00

Somehow the Raptors 2 consecutive victories against the surging Atlanta Hawks and the sinking Dallas Mavericks are clouded with question about the team's character . 'Toronto did'nt fight ? Nobody in Toronto did nothing ? asked Lebron James after viewing the Halford-TJ incident. James added that's a crazy (non) action by the players of Toronto. Or it's either TJ has no friend in the team or the squad is composed of totally of nice guys . The situ was made worst by the fact that the TV camera caught fellow Texan and so called closest friend (?) of TJ in the team, Chris Bosh , smiling when just about everybody from both sides was as quiet as a mouse as TJ was lying motionless on the floor. There were reports that coach Sam Mitchell went ballistic on the Atlanta rookie. Huh, OK. Was that supposed to make up for timidity of the Raptors players ? The Raps need to have their DNAs altered if they hope to go far in the playoffs. Yeah , like this mouse which was genetically altered by Japanese scientists to make it fearless of its mortal enemy , the cat . Otherwise , LBJ and the rest of the NBA will kick their collective asses as they know the Raps won't fight no matter what. Alter their DNA now quick. Unless the Raps' DNAs mean Do Not Alter !!

So the Raps beat the Mavs (92-76) after 4 long years of trying. Big deal. Dallas is no longer the cream of the crop. Dallas is now the puff cream of the crap. This early this season , the Mavs lost 9 games already of which 3 were losses to Eastern Conference wanna be's - the Pacers , the Wizards and now the Raps. I don't know why the Mavs are lousy this season . Maybe because it's flamboyant owner is busy doing things everywhere. Let's see , Mark Cuban participated in the Dancing With The Stars at ABC studio . Then , Cuban was involved in a heated war of words with Fox' Bill O'Reilly over the former's Iraq war movie Redacted . Just last Saturday , Cuban was in Vegas inside the ring during the introduction portion of the Floyd Mayweather -Ricky Hatton fight . The guy is everywhere . Maybe Mark Cuban's DNA was genetically engineered to enable him to fly everywhere !

Top 10 Jobs Waiting For Aging Raptor Darrick Martin !

2007-12-11T11:48:00.000-05:00

No.10 - Substitute mascot of the Toronto Raptors.

No. 9 - Join Guilermo as Jimmy Kimmel's sidekick.

No. 8 - Pinch hit for look alike Emmitt Smith in the NFL TV booth.

No. 7 - Official permanent props in the NBA slam dunk contest.

No. 6 - Join the new hit reality show 'Dancing With The Porno Stars'.

No. 5 - Replace Britney Spears' tell all bodyguard.

No. 4 - Join the 'D' league . No not that league but the 'D'warf league !

No. 3 - Bald spokesperson for 'Save The Bald Eagle 'movement.

No. 2 - Appear as Barney Ruble in the new Flintstone movie.

And the number 1 job waiting for Darrick Martin when he retires is as the........Official waterboarding Volunteer of the CIA !

Humps Brings Sexy Back .

2007-12-10T11:53:00.000-05:00

The man dubbed ' Sexy Legs ' by some Raptors' fans brought his 'A' game yesterday. Humphries scored 19 points and collared 9 rebounds to lead the Raps from a come from behind victory over Yao and the Houston Rockets.' Humps is a young player and sometimes he likes it all ' said coach Sam Mitchell of Humpries. ' If you just move , set picks and run the floor , you can get 8 , 10 points a game ' he added. Sam , are you saying that Humps should go slow ? If the velocity challenged Humpries takes that advice , he'll be a statue ! With the departure of Hoffa , Kris Humpries is the only remaining muscle guy in the team . Just look at the Raps' bigs- Bosh , Moon and Baston. They are like malnourished players from some country in Africa. I don't count the midgets (anyone shorter than 6'8") especially the guy called the Human Bobblehead - Darrick Martin . Rasho , Bargs and Garbo are not really skinny but they don't have pronounced muscles. Humphries however is built like he can take on a WWE wrestler. See the guy wrestled with Andy and Z as shown in the right photo. ' Get your own lunch' Humps shouted to the 2 who look like participants in a before and after of a hair growth medicine commercial.
Muscles are not all good. Too much muscles make one too mechanical in his movements like a robot. Especially if you are a white basketball player. That is why robots are almost always white . Not yellow , not brown and definitely not black. Just look at Toyota's latest creation. That is why there's no Shaq robot .Until now. You see , the Diesel is kinda slow now . Oh well , they can attribute Shaq's robot slowness to metal fatigue !

Coach : All together now , who's your Daddy ?
Bobbleheads : Daddy Darrick !

Garbo's Replacement.

2007-12-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

by NIKE

Tor. Sun's Buffery : Who will replace Garbo as your glue guy ?
B.C. : No problemo . I got a new player from the Europe.....
.........Steve , meet Elmer D. Glue guy.

xox

GEMario Or _Emario Moon ?

2007-12-07T11:56:00.000-05:00

Everyone in Raptorland is happy that B.C. found a gem in Jemario Moon. I am not sold out yet of this guy's longetivity and overall talent. Moon can't shoot from the outside. Absolutely no 'J' or jumpshot. If Jamario wants to be like the real thing , he should work on his outside shot. I wondered how Jamario averaged 27 ppg in the D league . All layups and dunks maybe ? For him to be taken seriously by the opponents , Jamario needs to be able to shoot from the outside. He needs to practice 600 shots a day like ex Net Mickey Moore did 2 summers ago. Moore became a great mid range shooter last season which helped the Nets execute the pick and roll effectively as they showed when they beat the Raps in 6 games of last season's playoffs. The improved offense by Moore led him to get moore money in his next contract this time with the Sacto Kings. Actually , Jamario posseses a nice looking jumpshot. Definitely easy to the eyes than to the guy he is compared to by teammate Anthony Parker - Shawn Marion . Marion as shown here on the right (before a game makeover) together with Atlanta's Childress are founding members of the ' Ugly Jumpshooters Club '. Marion though is a deadly shooter even from the 3 point range as he displayed in Wednesday's game. If Jamario , improves his 'J' , I would not call him Emario (no 'J') anymore . Maybe , I'll call him JaMarion !

Another thing about Jamario is his lack of respect for the NBA and its players. Jamario said before that ' there is not much difference between the play in the NBA and the CBA . Huh ? Last night's game gave him a sample of the kind of plays in the big league. The kind that KG dishes everynight instead of the unkind that produced a puny 2 points ( on 1 of 6 shooting ) vs. the Celts. There is still 'Sheed , Josh Smith and a long trip to the West on schedule , Rook . Show me that you can close to your minor league average and maybe I will believe you . ' KG wanted to win even every practice game when he was in Minnesota . He once scored 50 points on me ' said Garnett's former teammate and Raps' coach Sam Mitchell last night. ' He made me better ' Sam added. As a player not as a coach !

Sam : Are you talking to me ? Are you talking to me ? That's my bast impersonation of Bob De Niro .Only , I'm Mucho Dinero now !

Where The Suns Don't Shine...

2007-12-06T12:00:00.000-05:00

For 364 days. The Phoenix Suns let the sunshine in and the barrage of points too to defeat the upstart Toronto Raptors 136-123. The asses in TO who predicted that their Raps were strong enough to defeat the Suns were given a dose of reality. A friend of mine was superexcited yesterday . He was going to see the game live. Instead , he saw the Raps dead. Dead from non stop fastbreak by Barbosa and Co. The Brazilian Blur had 27 points by the 3rd quarter ! The only consolation to Raps' fans was no matter how long Darrick Martin will try to freeze the ball like in the Raptors' last game , the score will surely reach the 100 mark for free pizza !

Give it to the ACC fans though. They cheered even though their team was being waylaid. They even mooooooned when favorite Raptor Janario Moon blocked Shawn Marion's shot.Chuck Swirsky was all agog over Moon's weak block saying on the air that it's his x consecutive game with a block at least. Oh well. What can you expect. In the land of the blind , the one armed man is King . In this land of puckheads , the ballheaded one is supreme. Or should I say the baldheaded one is supreme ! My gosh don't harped to the TO fans like it's a big deal that Moon continues to swat balls away . The Hawks' Josh Smith is averaging almost 3 blocks a game .Did'nt these guys see his block on D. Wade's shot that prevented their game from going O.T. ? Or how he smothered the C's Eddie House shot eventhough the guy tried to protect the ball with his body ? These blocks were the real ones. You can say that Josh's blocks are blockbusters !

Don't Cry For Me Urgentina

2007-12-05T12:18:00.000-05:00

See what contract year can do ? Carlos Delfino is playing like there is no tommorow.He is playing with a sense of urgency. A real Urgentine indeed ! ' I got to show what I can do this season . I don't want to go back to Europe ' Delfino was quoted before the season begun. The man who has a perpetually arranged hairdo is averaging close to 16 points a game in 30 minutes of play in the last 4 games. Those are quantum leap from his stats when he was in Detroit. In Motortown , Delfino was known as a dead engine . Or at least a stalled engine. Fans there said Delfino's a lazy basketball player that was why he languished on the Pistons' bench . Suddenly the guy is a star(?) here in Toronto . He just need to continue doing the same thing and Delfino is sure to get a fat contract at the end of the year. Delfino must do something else . Undo the hairdo . The do might give you a cool image ala Travolta in Grease or The Fonz but it perpetuates the view that you want to do everything the easy way like the 2 TV/movie characters. Even his present coach felt he was too laid back as a player before that was why Sam seldom used him during pre season games. It's the laid back hairdo Carlos. The pomade or gel supported hair gave Sam the wrong 1st impression. Undo the hairdo and your image will change forever. Then you can be a real star. Otherwise , you will still be a star alright. Not in the basketball court. ... but a star of a gel commercial !

SAMthing 'Gotta Give !

2007-12-04T10:03:00.000-05:00

Yup . Another one bites the dust. Coach Sam Mitchell showed he has some coaching talent as he guided an undermanned Raptors team to a landslide victory over the Charlotte Bobcats , 98-79. Sam showed another Sam, Sam Vincent , that he has still a lot of growing up to do before he can reach the COY awardee last year. After all , Vincent is only 6'1'' to Mitchell's 6'9" height when he is not angry at TO sports scribes. If sports reporters anger Sam , he shoots up to 9"6" ! You can say that Vincent can continue dreaming in some starry starry night ! Unfortunately , it was snowy in TO last night. Definitely no stars. Maybe , this (coaching) world was not meant for one as beautiful as Vincent . Ooops, wrong Vincent .The Raps were simply awesome despite the absence of its 3 stars. I told you, no stars in TO last night. Jose Calderon's (12 pts. 9 asst.) passing was chris , I mean , crisp. Kris Humprey (17 pts./ 6 reb.) was in control . No bargs , I mean , no barging into opponents foolishly like he is prone to do. And Joey Graham (13 pts. 4 reb.) , Joey G. was no tj , I mean, kj . Joey G. made everyone happy with his performance in the game last night !

Let's face it. The Bobcats were atrocious last night missing point blank shots , committing unforced errors and failing to take advantage of Emeka Okafour, 5 , 6 , 7 countless opportunities for low post plays.The biggest dissapointment however was Bobcats' Jason Richardson. J. Rich as he is popularly known , was far from the spectacular one that distinguished himself as an outside/inside threat when he was a member of the Golden State Warriors last season. ' Initially , J.Rich was sad when he was informed of the trade to the Bobcats. Then Michael Jordan called him in the morning and explained why he traded for him . Everything was fine after that ' narrated the Bobcats' TV guy of the transaction. Uh oh . J.Rich better disconnect his phone today or at least leave a taped message in his machine. Tell MJ that J.Rich cannot be reached at this number anymore !

Vincent Van Gogh : Sam Mitchell is just like me.
I had a full beard , Sam has a full beard !
I had a crazy mind , Sam has a 'lil crazy mind !
I had syphilis , ahh eh eh ... Mo Pete has herpes !

U.S.A. Set To Invade Canada !

2007-11-30T11:59:00.000-05:00

Yes sir . Former US Rep. and now TV host of Morning Joe at MSNBC , Joe Scarborough said 'the U.S. should invade Canada to save the children there '. He justified his proposal this way ' Imagine 8 year olds fighting in a sporting event '. Scarborough added that he was aghast at seeing young kids engaged in full brawl during a hockey game ! The incident is not isolated of course. Only in Canada ! It's time to turn these puckheads to the real game. The game for nigxxrs said a somebody I know who is a relatively new Canadian immigrant from Poland. Her husband, a native Canuck , is not as ignorant but clueless about how fun basketball is. 'I don't know that basketball is so exciting ' said he when he watched a live playoff game between the Cavs and the Pistons last year during a business trip to Cleveland. Definitely more exciting than a pathetic Maple Leafs' game !

Good if the US will annex Canada. Then I would not be barraged with hockey 24/7. I would not suffer from hockey diarrhea ! There will be no overdose of talking heads on all 3 sports channels of Canada overanalyzing everything hockey. I would not have to endure the lousy play of overpaid but error prone Bryan Mc Cabe , of falling star Mats Sundin and of puck bully Darcy Tucker . No more grouchy Bobcat of Sportsnet and annoying TSN's Mike L. on TV. Hmm .Wait . That means I will be inundated with the likes of ESPN's Stephen A. (for asshole) Smith and loud Jim Rome . Instead of puck bullies, I will be subjected to a nightly dose of Bad Boy Artest , Capt. Jack and 'Sheed Wallace and his mouth ! Not good. Barricade the borders quick ! We are going to war !

What's In Your Wallet , Sam ?

2007-11-29T11:57:00.000-05:00

Plenty . The Raptors' coach managed to win and win big versus often rumored replacement , Memphis Grizzlies' coach Marc Ivaroni last night , 103-91. Toronto weathered the loss of big men Chris Bosh (in the 1st quarter) and Andrea Bargnani ( in the 4th quarter) on top of TJ Ford absence for 5th consecutive game . The NBA TV team dubbed the Raps as the Walking Wounded. Oh yeah . What would Alridge call the Grizzlies then ? Dead Men Playing !

It's good that the Griz have the habit of blowing hot and cold in consecutive games.The 1st time this season the 2 met in Elvisland , the Grizz shot poorly after a high 54% shooting percentage in the game prior to meeting the Raps. The Raps whupped Pau and Co. then.This time , Memphis was coming off a hard fought victory against the Nets the day before. Oh well . No one stays hot forever. Not even the King Of Rock and Roll. Only the pick and roll of Senor Jose Calderon who registered another double double last night (10 pts.,13 asst.). If I am TJ , I will return to work immediately. I'll set aside my iPod , plasma TV and CD . TJ , you don't want a different kind of CD believe me. The kind that is attach to your name in the boxscore : DNP-CD . Did Not Play-Coach's Decision !

Do You Want A BJ .......Or A TJ ?

2007-11-28T11:56:00.000-05:00

The question most Raptors' fans are asking is whether TJ Ford or Jose Calderon should be the main point guard of the team.The past 2 games , Jose Calderon was simply fantastico in the absence of the injured TJ Ford . Jose's assist to turnover ratio was simply unbelievable. Every paper noted his sterling play be it in TO or elsewhere.The same is true with every NBA TV team . Against the Chicago Bulls last Sunday , Jose out hinrick the Bulls' steady PG, Kirk Hinrick. It's embarrasing to watch Kirk run after Jose like a dog in heat. If I were you Jose , I would not turn my back on Kirk like that in the photo .

Not so fast TJ detractors. Remember , TJ is a better scorer that Jose. TJ is Mr. Guts and Glory personified . Never afraid to take the big shots or the so called money shots .The guy is faster than a speeding bullet and an excellent penetrator ! Without TJ , the Raptors' vaunted outside shots will be less dangerous. He drives , makes the other team's defense collapse on him then kicks the ball out to the open man. TJ is so fast he changes clothes 100x a day in a whiff (see photo) .

Bryan Colangelo has his work cut out for him come the end of the season. No , right now. The current situ proves what I've been saying earlier. TJ or BJ needs to play major minutes . No more (almost) equal sharing of the PG duties. Either give TJ 30 mins. or so every game or BJ for that matter to maximize each player's talent . Sam needs to play BJ more no matter if TJ pouts on the bench (as he often does) or play TJ more no matter if it means losing Jose at the end of the season. All duet must come to an end anyway. Look at Sonny and Cher , Simon And Garfunkel and lately , George Bush and Karl Rove ! Make a choice who you want to be your numero uno PG .TJ Ford or Back up Jose ?

Raps Beat The Washington Generals AKA The Chicago Bulls

2007-11-25T15:41:00.000-05:00

It's just right that a former member of the Harlem Globetrotters led the Raptors in beating the Chicago Bulls, 93-78. Former Trotter Jamario Moon blocked 6 shots and played an all around game (15 pts./9 rebs./3 steals). Coach Scott Skiles' men, or should I say boys, are pathetic as usual. They don't seem to want to win except win the Megalotto to enable them to retire early. The ACC sellout crowd was esctatic nevertheless. I don't know why . The Bulls were expected to lose like the patsy Washington Generals are every night to the Globetrotters . The Raps barely beat the Bulls. The margin of victory became wide only in the closing minutes of the last quarter. I think the fans of the Toronto Raptors are just happy they won at home . Call it the Maple Leaf syndrome !
I don't watch the game via the Canadian TV feed . You know why. This afternoon , I tried CBC's telecast of the game. As usual, the Raptors team of Chuck Swirsky and Leo Rautins treated Canadian basketball fans to exaggerations if not misleading statements. Leo said that Moon takes only good shots . He he . If the Raps lost like they did to the Cavs the previous day , I wonder what Leo will say about those consecutive missed long shots in the 4th quarter ? Also , the guy was all praise for Sam Mitchell for the way he turned around the team's fortunes last year. I wonder what the 2 will say when Sam is out of TO ? Ask VC ! Things were noticeably different though. Chuck dropped his 'salami and cheese' line and there is no more constant reference by the 2 to Leo's so called NBA career . After all , a recent SI article belittled Leo's NBA stint by stating that " the Canadian national team touts coach Leo Rautins as a Canadian basketball icon. His NBA career : a whole 32 games as a Philadelphia 76er and the Atlanta Hawks over the 1983-84 and 1984-85 seasons ". The internet made honest people of these two guys. Still, Leo made reference to Moon's finger roll move to the basket as being like those made by his 76er teammate, Dr. J. Teammate for less than a month !

What Bryan Colangelo Really Meant To Say !

2007-11-24T10:27:00.000-05:00

It's really cool that B.C. chose his words carefully when he assessed the Raptors' performance at this stage of the season when the team's record stands at 6-6. Unlike then neophtype NBA GM Rob Babcock who made the mistake of declaring that the Raptors would be 'uncompetitive' in his 1st year as the top honcho of the Dinos. Babcock found out that you cannot do that if the owner(s) of the team is a corporation especially Maple Leaf And Entertaintment (MLSE). A few days after making that truthful declaration , Babcock was forced to issue a statement to clarify the hot issue with a glowing assesment of the team no matter how untrue. You see , working for MLSE is like working for Pres. Bush . Ask his Bush's former Press Secretary Scott Mc Clellan who's advance excerpt from his book What Happened is simply bombastic . You can get away with lying if one is as pretty as the present White House Spokesperson Dana Perino shown on the right photo.
Back to B.C.'s statements made yesterday to Toronto Star's Dou Smith.I deciphered and translated each one by one using the Hillary Clinton's Book Of Double Speak.

BC's statement no.1 : We've been a little inconsistent and arguably underachieved record-wise.
Translation : The team sucks bigtime !

BC's statement no.2 : We anticipated that Garbo (Jorge Garbajosa) would be a major factor but does'nt turned out to be the case.
Translation : Let the guy freeze on the bench for defying my wishes !

BC's tatement no.3 : There've been all kinds of lopsided victories and losses out there. It' a telling sign that teams are still finding out themselves .
Translation : Enough of this show and tell. On with the real games !

And lastly , BC's statement no 4 about the coming 5 of 6 home games : Maybe we can get on a roll here.
Translation : If we lose all soon to come 5 home games , Sam's head will roll !

Raps Fail To Stop (Prison) Break By The Warriors !

2007-11-18T14:05:00.000-05:00

The Toronto Raptors dissapoint again. Air Canada's sellout Sunday afternoon crowd went home shaking their heads once more at the up and down performance of the Raptors this season . Chris Bosh was missing in action as well as his all important foul shots near the end of the game. Oh right , it's crunch time . The usual dissapearing act of the franchise player near the end of the game . Andrea Bargnani barely improved his game with a measly 12 points but was (as usual) sitting on the bench majority of the 4th quarter ! What happen to the prediction of many that this season will be Bargs break out year ? The dude can't even break out of a prison even if the guards are sleeping and the cell key is within reach ! Bargnani stayed on the Raps' bench so long his teammates thought he's a towel holder (right photo) . Maybe, Chuck Swirsky needs to call Andrea , Benchnani the next time !
I kinda anticipated the loss by the Raps this afternoon. You see , coach Sam Mitchell's men are known to be soft to the Warriors and the rest of the NBA . Although Golden State is not a defensive minded team , they like to intimidate softies like they did the Mavs for a monumental upset in last season's opening round playoff. To Stephen Jackson and Co., looks alone can kill err , I mean , can win ballgames . Ask them whiteys like Dirk , Bargs , Kapono and Delfino. Athletic guys like Jamario Moon are OK but the Warriors eat them for breakfast when the going gets tough. Just compare the clean shaven almost tatooless Raps vs. the men from Alcatraz . Don't ever wonder therefore that Toronto faltered in the end after leading most of the way. ' We made spurts at the right time and they did'nt ' said coach Don Nelson of Golden State. TJ Ford who was the lone Raptor to battle the Warriors with 29 points agreed ' They outhustled us , made shots and we did'nt ' said TJ . Yes TJ , the Warriors outhustled the Raps . They are hustlers all !

Stephen Jackson : Intimidating ? I'm so cute one fan went crazy over my photo !

B.C.'s Discards . How They Are Doing?

2007-11-16T16:31:00.000-05:00

Hers are how 3 former Raptors - Mo Pete , Matt Bonner and Mike James- are doing in their current teams which are all in the same division and better records than the 4-4 Raptors .

1. Morris Peterson . The man everybody called Mo Pete is doing quite well as a member of the starting unit of the surging Hornets (7-2) of the sinking New Orleans. I followed every game of his new team and so far, he is fitting like a condom in his cock , err I mean , coach' plan. ' Peterson stays in the corner(s) of the court for his shots ' said the Hornets' TV announcers. Just like in ACC. Only , Chris Paul finds him especially when he is hot. Like last Wednesday ,when the Raps struggled in their shooting,, Mo Pete was super hot. Mo Pete drilled 16 points on four 3 points shots in the 1st quarter enroute to a team high 27 points ! His teammates were cheering every shot of Mo Pete from the bench . Take that Colangelo !

2. Matt Bonner . Why do they, the Spurs TV guys , still call Bonner the Red Rocket ? How inappropriate. The red rocket transport is only in TO ! The hombre is now in San Antonio (7-2) and barely throws his howitzers ! Just call him the Red Sombrero or even better , the Red Cuchero ! Actually , Bonner is playing more minutes now than his 1st season with the Spurs. Occasionally , Bonner gets to shoot 3 points shots when Duncan or Parker kicks the ball his way. Less playing time ? No problem . Matt has more time now to sign his autograph ( photo) and be paid for this . He will be able to earn money from the proceeds of autograph signing so he can buy an automobile! Bonner is happy to get his NBA championship ring although he told Chuck Swirsky the ring stays in his laundry box !

3. Mike James . James seems to thrive better in the Rockets' fast face offense than in the Timberwolves' KG oriented offense. Although James is not in the starting unit of Houston (6-3) , he finds himself playing more than another former Raptor Rafer Alston and disgruntled Steve Francis. Many Raps' fans do not like the high scoring James for his propensity to shoot too much. Ha ! TJ Ford is Mike James all over again. It's because no one wants to be the leader of the Raptors during crunch times , stupid fans . At least , TJ or James before him, is willing to take the responsibility of taking over the game. In MJ , Yao and T Mac found another offensive option. This means MJ does'nt have to shoot much . James is so in love with T Mac , oops , don't mind the photo on the right , I mean , so in love with his new role as the black Mike Bibby in coach Rick Alderman's system !

The Art Of Being Assertive.

2007-11-15T15:10:00.000-05:00

Half of Raptorland are up in arms over TJ Ford's taking the last 3 point shot in last night's game. What else is new ? TJ took the previous 3 pt. shot that made the game closer so his repeating the deed was not a surprise . It just that the shot did not go in resulting in the loss by the Raps to the Jazz , 88-92. One will recall that TJ was also the one who extended the game vs. the Celtics by cashing in on an incredible 25 footer . After that game which the Raps eventually lost in overtime , TJ said ' If we made the plays , you guys (sportswriters) would be saying how great we are ' . Say what you may about TJ but the guy is fearless when it comes to taking the big shots. Even last season , the small guard is not afraid to take the money shots especially in the waning seconds of the game. Are the Raptors without a more bankable guy ? Yes. Since Vince Carter left , no one seems to want the job . Not team leader Chris Bosh who I think hides in crunch times. See Bosh even hide his height in the photo on the right ! TJ Ford is indeed The Little Engine That Could .....Screw Up !
I expect TJ to be even more assertive this season . Assertive to the point of being a pain in the ass. He knows that B.C. must decide before or at the end of the season to either trade him or Jose Calderon. This being Jose's contract year , the other half of dynamic duo will surely ask either for a huge pay (more than TJ) and/or a starting role . Who knows Calderon and now Raptor garbage, Jorge Garbajosa, might join their countrymen Pau Gasol and Navarro in Madrid , err I mean , Memphis. In any case , TJ must convince the Raptors powers that be that he is the one worth keeping. That's why the beginning of this season , TJ stated as his aim to lead the NBA in assist. That means play him more , Sam . Let's just say TJ is assisting his cause by being more assertive !

TJ Ford : B.C. , I am stronger than Jose . I take my Flintstones vitamins everyday !

Tonight's Game Preview : Jazz Vs. Just Fine

2007-11-14T04:41:00.000-05:00

It seems like the Raptors have found their groove. They are groovy once again especially in their last game vs. the Bulls. The Raptors' dynamic PG duo of TJ Ford and Jose Calderon combined for 23 assists . That means , they are moving and sharing the ball. But that was against an obviously uninspired Chicago team. Let's see if the Raps will show the same vigor versus the versatile Carlos Boozer , rebounding demon Paul Milsap, teardrop lartist Deron Williams and tears dropping like a baby and block artist Andrei Kirilenko. The Jazz is really a fine ballclub whereas the Raps are just fine. TO is not yet a consistently good ballclub. One should watch 3 things in this game . One is rebounding . How will a poor rebounding team like TO solve Booz , Milsap and Co ? Two is guard play . TJ is a speed demon whereas his counterpart on the other side , Williams , is more controlling. Will razzle dazzle beat jazzle ? Will Utwo (TJ&J) tire out Utah's main PG ? Lastly , who will win the battle of 3 point shooting (near) 7 footers ? Bargnani or Mehmet Okur ? I just need to look at the results in these 3 categories and I can tell the winner without looking at the scores. It's Jazz time tonight by 10 points or more . Yup. I am sure. Like Fox' Bill O' Reilly is sure he can make Mark Cuban's Iraq movie Redacted fail at the box office as he did to Robert Redford's Lions For Lambs by advocating boycott of it. Otherwise , I will boycott predicting the outcome of future NBA games !

Robert & Merryl : O'Reilly , you can't handle the truth !
Our film's weekend box office of just $6 million was
'coz of Tom and not 'coz of your so called boycott !

Full Moon !

2007-11-12T12:14:00.000-05:00

The talk of the whole Raptorland is the unheralded 27 year old , 6'8'' rookie Jamario Moon. Moon was suddenly inserted by coach Sam Mitchell in the starting 5 versus the Bulls. The Raps won that game pulling away, 107-71. Moon scored 12 points and grabbed 6 rebounds in 23 mins. of play. Who is Jamario Moon ? Moon previously played for the Harlem Globetrotters and lately the Albany Patroons in the CBA . Get this , Moon is not only a Scottie Pippen dunk-a-like (same long body too) but he can play good defense like Pippen. ' I pattern my game after MJ or Scottie ' said Jamario Moon who lives up to his name . He's a high flying (up to the moon) slam jamming dude ! . Moon is the current CBA's Defensive Player Of The Year. Coach Sam is a genius for recognizing the talent of the Missisisipi native who tried out earlier with the Lakers , the Bucks and the Cavs. Too bad that Moon starting over Jason Kapono won't mean that his $450,000 salary will leap high to come closer to the latter's $12 mil per annum pay. Although Moon can leap over the referree anytime as shown on you tube being circulated by his new fans !

The Philadelphia Expreriments.

2007-11-10T09:24:00.000-05:00

COY Awardee Sam Michell dug into his bags of (mixed) tricks to bring life into the struggling Raptors last night against the 75ers and escaped with a win ala Houdini (105-103) . He placed back Rasho Nestorovich in the starting 5 in place of 2nd year man Andrea Bargnani (old trick) and gave rookie Janario Moon minutes (new trick) . The 1st experiment bombed. Rasho is as mediocre as always while Bargnani's effectivity went down further . Bargs' efficiency rating in last night's game was -2 ( 9 pts./2 reb./2 ass) . One wonders how this move will affect Andrea in the long run. Can he handle the divorce from Bosh in the starting unit ? Look at the pic at the right how they share everything ! Well , there is always hitting the wall as a built in excuse. One cager still far from hitting the rookie wall is the baller often compared to Bargs , the Bucks' Yi. Although Yi's team hit a different kind of wall . The Great Wall Of China , Yao Ming . The Rockets beat the Bucks before 250 millions TV viewers in China !
The Janario Moon experiment last night has a better result. The 27 year old rookie registered 9 p/6 r/2 a in 22 mins for a +4 eff. rating. Way better than $24 mil man Kapono's - 4 rating in 19 mins. of play. I like this rating system that the NBA has adopted this year. If only the rating system's effects can be felt immedately by the players ,the NBA will be a much better league. I mean , treat the rating system just like the annual performance rating system that is applied to ordinary workers. If an employee has a shitty year - performance wise - he/she is given zero or minimal increase. Even be terminated from work.That way , players will do their best year after year and not only during his contraCt year ! Alas , as the Great Gatzby said ' the rich (athletes) are different from you and me '. To which the once great Garbo (Jorge) replied after another DNP-CD ' the playing Raptors are different from a benchwarmer like me '

Garbo : Maybe I will switch to bullfighting next year,amigo !
Bull : Ok. I'll take up basketball,amigo.That's no bullshit !

It's Time To Push The Easy Button .

2007-11-08T09:53:00.000-05:00

The Raptors are in mini panic mode with their 3rd successive defeats the last one at the hands of their favorite whipping boys last season , the Orlando Magic (96-105). What's is wrong Sam ? I know. Remember Sam . I am your unofficial (and unpaid) Assistant coach whether you like it or not .

1. The Eastern Conference teams this season are tougherer. What are automatic wins before are not anymore. The Celts , the Bucks and the Magic are exponentially betterrer this season .While the Raps remained stagnant . Yes , stagnant and repugnant at B.C.'s ineptitude. Take for instance the Jason Kapono and Carlos Delfino additions. One guy used to do the defense and offense at the same time before. That man - Mo Pete . Nice move B.C.. No Pete = KapoNo + DelfiNo ! Look at Mo Pete ( right photo) teach a boy how to attack B.C. when the Raps visit New Orleans !

2. Toronto is very predictable . Notice how the Raptors are running the same plays familiar to the opposing teams and not only to ex Raptors Asst. coach Jim Todd who is now back in Milwaukee. Todd said after the mauling the Bucks gave the Raptors ' he had a very good handle of what the Raptors do '. Everyone has. Watching the Raptors run their plays is like seeing Raptors Rewind except that they are at the short end of the score. BTW, why do you think Todd left the Raps' bench to return to the Bucks for the same position ? Is it the reported pension ? How about spreading the wealth , Sam . Now that your top Assistant has left , show your real stuff , COY awardee .

3. Ball movement does'nt mean moving the ball up and down. Last season , opposing coaches raved about how the Raps play unselfish ball. They pass the ball like it's a hot potato never letting it rest more than a few secs in one man's hands. Not this season so far. Be it TJ , Jose , Delfino and even Bosh. They all want to driible and/or shoot. Let me guess why . TJ wants to increase his minutes ( how can TJ be the assist leader in the NBA - TJ's aim this year- if Jose takes 1/2 of his playing time). Jose on the other hand, is in his contract year . Say what you want about teamwork, Jose is ready to be the primero guardia in the NBA and he is going to push the envelope not only the ball . What about Delfino ? Contract year . Kapono ? He must justify his giant $24 mil contract or he will a shortlived Raptor like Jones before him. Bosh ? He must live up to his NBA 1st Team All Star billing or else KG , Z Bo and some other newcomers in the Eastern Conference will get his slot . Should I continue ....

So go ahead Sam . Make Raptors basketball easy to the eyes once again. Push the Easy button ..... or you will be push out of coaching the Raptors soon !

Tonight's Game Preview : Yipee ! Yi Vs Andrea !

2007-11-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

Chuck Swirsky said in his radio program this afternoon that one of the sub plot of the Raptors-Bucks game tonight is the battle between 2 young beanpoles .The match featuring Andrea Bargnani and Yi Jianlian . To millions of fans in China , it is the feature presentation. Especially Yi Jianlian. Bargs and Yi are playalike. They even have the same body structure. The both can run like deers .Or more like girraffes 'coz of their height. Yi and Bargs are tremendous 3 point shooters. But that is where their similarities end. Andrea is as dry as a dry gin tonic while Yi is intense . Not KG intense but intense nevertheless. In the game versus the Bulls last Saturday , Yi was giving the Tiger Wood fist pumps after every 3 point basket. Then , Yi was highfiving everybody during timeouts . So unlike countryman Yao Ming when he was new in the NBA, Well , you can say that Yi is as Italian as Bargnani . He talks with his arms and hands !
According to the Bucks' TV sportcaster in last week's home opener , some 200 million Chinese watched the Bucks' game vs. the Bulls. The estimated number of people is likely based on the number of basketball playing people in China. 200 million ? Not a Chinaman's chance. Based on my estimate, that number is just too much. In an informal survey of Chinese in my neighborhood - 10 all in all - , 2 played mahjong during Saturday's game . Another 2 were busy playing poker while a couple more went to the Niagara Casino . Yes , there were 2 busy with the NBA ..... busy betting who will win in the NBA Live by EA Sports !

Mao : There will be no NBA team in China. Stern won't allow gambling in the NBAwhile the Chinese loves to gamble .'Wanna bet ?

Crack Is Showing And It's Not Sam's .

2007-11-06T09:15:00.000-05:00

It was a real shock that the normally quiet Raptor named Jorge Garbajosa complaining that he does'nt get the playing time like he got last season. ' I'm healthy and I'm ready ' said Garbo to Steve Buffery of the Sun.You wonder if Garbo and Steve did this interview over bottles of cervesa in a dimly lighted bar somewhere in TO. How come no other sportswriters were able to get this scoop. It's huge for numerous reasons. First, it proves that Jorge is not Djanggo or some a monosylabic hombre from a Clint Eastwood's spaghetti western. Second , that Garbo loves the game of basketball eventhough is his native country he is called the porno king (no kidding). I wonder if the photo at right was taken from one of his x rated movies ? And lastly and more significantly, that the Raptors' vaunted team chemistry is a chemical lovefest after all . Cracks are starting to show. Somehow , a team that mimicks Pres. Bush's Iraq coalition will eventually disintegrate. Let's see. Spain was the 1st to abandon the so called coalition of the willing. Don't be surprised if Garbo will ask for a trade if his situ does not improve. The Lakers will be a good destination for him . Jorge can perform the same role as Canadian and ex Laker Rick Fox. Phil Jackson loves big , tall guards who can perform many roles. Then , the Brits will go out of Iraq starting next year. Hmmm. Will Jose Calderon be it or TJ Ford will be traded to enable the Raps to sign Jose to a lucrative contract Depending on the 2 PGs performances this season , TJ or Jose will jettison elsewhere. Who knows , Memphis may be Jose's destination joining Gasol and Navarro there. In return the Raps will get the rook Mike Conley . Well , who is Canada in the Raptors lineup ? Who else but Sam's boy toy , Derek Martin. Martin is with Uncle Sam Mitchell just as Canada is forever with Uncle Sam !

Sam : Derek , I want you .........to clean the players' locker room !

Today's Preview : Raps Vs. Cs . R-E-S-P-E-C-T Game.

2007-11-04T14:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Coach ,

This afternoon game is important. It's a game of respect with a capital letters. For the Raptors, they consider this game important to gain the much needed respect denied them by sportswriters , players and fans outside Toronto. Imagine being ranked behind the Celtics and the Nets this season despite being the reigning Atlantic Division champions ! ' We are going to show them what we realy are ' coach Sam Mitchell must have said to his men. And how his team shredded the Nets this Wenesday. To the Nets , Ass Wednesday , err I mean, Ash Wednesday came early . New Jersey has its ass kicked ! Next will be the Celtics . By 5:00 this afternoon , the Cs will cease to exist !
Respect is also in the mind of Boston. ' We are nothing ' said main man Kevin Garnett . KG said until they begin winning , they are - KG , Ray Allen and Paul Pierce - just 3 All Stars without a ring to show. Winning the NBA crown will enable them all to gain the respect afforded only the likes of Tim Duncan , D Wade , Kobe . Winning this early and against the AD champs is the 1st step towards respectability .
Here is what I think will happen . Both teams will gain respect after the game. The young Raps will beat the old Celtics . The 20's Bosh , Bargnani , Ford and Co. will beat the 30 something trio of KG, Allen and the Truth. That's the truth , coach . The Raps will give the old men the respect their ages deserve !

Respectfully Yours ,

Assistant Coach

Tonight's Preview : Game 7 Of The Raptors Vs. Nets Series !

2007-11-02T08:32:00.000-04:00

If Jose Calderon was able to deliver the pass that Richard Jefferson stole in game 6 last season , the game tonight would have been played earlier. That pass , intended for Chris Bosh , was just a microinch too low. So instead, the Nets moved on to face the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2nd round of the 2007 playoffs. The Raptors could had been contenders last season . Instead , there were bartenders last summer . Jose could have been the chief architect of the Raptors' march to the NBA Finals . Instead , he was the chief organizer of a bartenders' march to the streets of Madrid to protest the shortage of Tequila (see photo on the right). Now you earthlings understand why the game tonight is a much anticipated one in Raptorland . More anticipated than Derrick Martin's retirement from playing in the NBA . Anyway , I will watch out for the following :

1. Chris Bosh's minutes and performance . Maybe CB4 can play longer than the minutes (20 mins) he logged in the season opener last Wednesday . The question is , can he play betterer without Mickey More guarding and Tony Soprano watching him ? Expect Jason Collins and Josh Boone to guard Bosh . If Boone is ineffective , Jamal Magliore will attach his body to Bosh all night they will be mistaken for a conjoined twins !

2. Will the Raps roughouse VC finally ? The folks at Raptors TV said yesterday that Sam's men need to 'play Vince tough this time' Or is it rough ? . The 2 stooges said it's up to the players not the coach to be more physical to VC . If this fail , Sam then can be more spiritual to Vince ! Lord, make Vince miss his shots please !

3. Wiil about to turn to dust Darryl Armstrong, at 40 years old, be able to help the near 40 years old Jason Kidd in containing the duo of TJ Ford and Jose Calderon ? Naaah . The baller nicknamed the energizer bunny will need the equivalent of electronic Viagra to be able to help Kidd abuse women and catch up with the Raps' dynamic duo .

Here are what I think will happen tonight . Richard Jefferson will kill the Raps tonight and only the excellent guard play by TJ and Jose will give Toronto a fighting chance ! Andrea Bargnani will be euthanized , err ...I mean...neutralized especially that Bosh will be ineffective (again) in the middle.

Conjoined Twins : You can do it Jamal.
It's as easy as reading a book !

It's Finally Here - The New NBA Season And The New Obama !

2007-10-30T12:06:00.000-04:00

Halloween is here and that only means the NBA is here. Here is my fearless forecast for the Atlantic Division . Actually , it's more like my fearful forecast not 'coz its halloween but 'coz I said here that the Raptors may be out of the playoff picture . Wait , before you homers burn my effigy, and nail me to the cross , read my complete rankings :

No.1 New Jersey Nets : Reasons- stability and health . Coach Frank and VC are entering this season with new contracts unlike last year. Then, there are no rumors of trades (Kidd to the Lakers , RJ to just about every NBA team and VC to hell - the latter is what the fans in Toronto want). Everybody is healthy (Kristic and RJ) entering the season 'cept for PG Marcus Williams. This team is deep . Jamal Magliore deep. JM will give the Nets the much needed presence deep inside . His addition to the team will more than offset Mickey Moore's departure to Disneyland . Oh well. Sacramento is in CA too .It will be as easy as riding a bike this time for NJ , right Jason ?

No 2 - Boston Celtics . Contrary to Boston's fans wish , the Cs will not give the city its triple crown after the Red Sox and the Patriots (sure bet). One reason - the PG situ. Garnett summed it up in his statement about Rondo- 'Id say that if Rondo is not the best point guard in 3 to 4 years , I'd be very very surprised '. Well , wait 3 to 4 years then before the Cs will contend . Now, if Doc acquires a 1st class point guard .........

Tied For No. 3 and 4 - Toronto Raptors and the New York Knicks . Whoever gets the 3rd spot in the Atlantic , have a chance to be in the playoffs.The Raptors will be bug by injuries this season (Bosh,Garbo and Bargnani) while the Knicks will elevate their game 'coz of one beast player... I mean , one best player added to their roster - Zach Randolf. Zach better deliver or Isiah will be sack before the season ends. If for some miracle , the Raps stay healthy again like last season , they will have a chance to inch up to no 2 and a spot in the playoffs.

No. 5 - Phladelphia 76ers .What do you expect from a city voted as the murder capital of the U.S.A ? (see my previous post) In another poll , Philly folks are considered the ugliest in the country. If I am a resident of Philly , I'll burn it like some folks did to San Diego ! I wonder if the the arsonists are SD native Bill Walton haters ?

Also tonight is the Democratic Presidential debate at MSNBC. I'm excited to see the new Obama. A nasty Obama going after Hillary Clinton's head for the 1st time. Obama even used a basketball metaphor when he said last week that ' I can play low and use my elbows '. The man is trailing Hillary by 20 points in the national polls so Obama was adviced by his supporters to be mean to HC if he hopes to catch up. I say , it's about time. Why don't you change your name to Osama to complete your transformation , Obama ?

Hillary : Booo ! The Cs and the Raps are scared of the Nets just like everybody is scared of me !

Vancouver Hangover .

2007-10-28T17:17:00.000-04:00

It's funny how many Vancouverites still harbor the hope of the NBA returning to Vancouver, B.C. Huh ? Vancouver blew it ! Their fan support waned after only a few seasons. ' It's important that in choosing future location for a new NBA team that it is located in a major city ' said Commish David Stern during the NBA Europe Live press con held in London, England . He then compared the very much alive Toronto Raptors franchise vs. the very much dead Vancouver Grizzlies ( now the Memphis Grizzlies ) . Maybe there is hope. A long shot . Even a 3 point shot . If a combination of things align somewhat , Vancouver will be an NBA city once more. These are :

One - if the province fav son and 2 time NBA MVP Steve Nash plays for the new Vancouver team . The Suns vs. Supersonics game last Friday drew a sellout crowd of 17K plus. Awesome for a pre season game ! OK , OK .Nash may be too old once his contract with the Phoenix Suns is over. Not really . Ex Celtics great Bob Cousy, to whom Nash's game is often compared with , came out of retirement to play for a fledging Kansas City NBA team.

Two - if the numerous Chinese billionaires/milllionaires based in B.C. join forces to bankroll the team. The new team won't have no problem with money as income from the food sales alone will be huge. Knowing the Chinese , they will have pricey spring rolls and wanton soup in place of cheap hotdogs and Coke ! Who cares if they name the team the Hongkouver Dimsuns !

Three - if half of the roster is composed of members / or former members of the Chinese National team. Many enterprising tour agencies etc. will surely put a Vancouver basketball game attendance as part of their tours in the same way as seeing a live Ichiro /Seattle Mariners game a must for Japanese foreign students in TO. Then there is the non stop and ever increasing Chinese population in Vancouver, legal or otherwise ? Just remember that these are my ideas . OK , grasshopper ?

Bruce Lee : Maybe my friend Kareem will come out of retirement to play for Chinada !

DelfiNo Contract And Walker Walks On Threadmill.

2007-10-26T09:42:00.000-04:00

There was suddenly a bounce in Carlos Delfino's game last night vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers . The tranferee from the Detroit Pistons scored a game high 18 points and collared 9 big rebounds. It's about time. Delfino must have read coach Sam Mtchell's comments last week about his lack of efforts. Now the coach is even providing an excuse for Delfino's lackluster performance prior to last night's pre season game which the Raptors won , 111-78. Jet lag ! Really . Michael Jordan has a better explanation for a player suddenly finding his game at the right time. ' It must be his contact year ' said Air Jordan. Think Jerome James , Theo Ratliff and many others . That's why I don't understand the barrage of calls by fans to sign D Leaguer and Raptor newcomer Janario Moon to fill the no. 15 spot in place of proven vet Juan Dixon or the more versatile Luke Jackson. Yes , Moon has a flashy game . He has a couple of good pre season games (vs. Lotto and Boston). ' Moon can put the ball on the floor and can make outside shots ' said the Boston TV sportscaster after the forward scored against a Celtics defender . It must be his work ethics ' Ex NBA great Tom Heinsohn surmissed why Moon still has no NBA team at age 26 . Exactly. That's why Antoine Walker will do his shimmy elsewhere than in Miami. However , Heat coach Fat .. err ... I mean .. Pat Riley must think of other ways for Walker to lose those extra pounds. Like futuristic office workers will do eventually . They combine threadmill , desk and computer ! 'Toine can do the same. He can stand on a running treadmill instead of sit on the bench when not playing and during timeouts !

Antoine : C'mon Pat , I am not fat. I can fit in this jersey .
Riley : .... When it comes with a matching short shorts !

Not So Deadly Big C (s) !

2007-10-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

The Raptors should worry about the Big 3. The orig Big 3 of the Atlantic Division. - Jason Kidd, Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson. The Celt's trio of Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce are dangerous but they lack much needed support especially in the point guard and center positions. The C's bench is wanting with James Posey as the only one good enough to play steady ball . Rondo , Perkins and Big Baby Davis are still as green as their uniforms . The C's scouts let former Spartan Mateen Cleaves , a natural PG , got away . C leaves played excellent ball last night ...but for NJ not Boston. Instead , coach Doc Rivers used a former member of the Nets , Eddie House , as the back up PG to Rondo in last night's pre season game . It's obvious that House is not at home in that position and that your bench is not deep enough , Rivers !
The New Jersey Nets, however, are a complete basketball team. The addition of vet Jamal Magliore and rook Williams made the center position solid with a healthy Nenad Kristic back from injury . But what makes the Nets deadlier than the Celtics is the fact that they are ready. Coach Frank said so. Vince Carter said so. Coach Frank , in the Real Training Camp shown on NBA TV, boasted that his team , unlike last season , is ready because his men started holding practice early. Hmm . The contract extension given him Nets management this summer must have help. In 2006-07 season , the Nets were awful at the starting gate. Then there is VC saying this in his interview shown today at ESPN's First Take. ' You will see us in the championship this time ' . Vince confidently told his interviewer while showing his ring finger. I am not sure whether VC was showing the finger because he wants an NBA ring or he is still divorced and single !

VC : Ha,ha,ha. I'm looking at my ring finger 'coz it's itchy !

Bosh , No Spark Plug For The Raptors.

2007-10-23T10:44:00.000-04:00

There is no doubt that the Raptors are weaker without their main man , Chris Bosh. Or are they really ? Early last season , the team led by TJ Ford played very well in a stretch when CB4 went down with injury. The team just bonded for some reason and played winning ball on the road at that. Some Raps fans called Bosh's absence then as a blessing in disguise . And maybe even now. Chris Bosh has not played the last 3 pre season games due to a sore knee. He is expected to be ready(?) against Cleveland on Thursday. This coming season , Bosh is expected again , like last year, to start slowly. Not exactly the quick start Bosh !

It just goes to show who is the real leader of the team . TJ Ford ? Yup , the dimunitive guard appears to have more leadership qualities in his 5'9'' body than the 6'10'' Bosh. TJ led the team during his absence physically early last season and mentally during the playoffs vs. the New Jersey Nets. When Bosh struggled against Mickey Moore's and Jason Collin's defenses all series long ( Bosh showed up only in the last game of the series - game 6) while TJ matched very well with All Star Jason Kidd . Before the playoffs , in a game against the Milwaukee Bucks , TJ was first to confront burly center Andre Bogut who roughhoused ...who else but Chris Bosh.Now if only TJ Ford will drop his lame name , TJ , and adopt a more sinister sounding one , he will generate more fear among his colleagues. Say like OJ Ford !

CB4 : How 'bout we call you BJ Ford !

Bargnani Vs. Alridge . Press Refresh Button .

2007-10-21T13:10:00.000-04:00

After their rookie season , Raptors' Andrea Bargnani came up ahead of fellow rookie LaMarcus Alridge of the Portland Trailblazers. Slightly ahead .Their stats confirmed that. The rookie of the year runner up ( to another Blazer Brandon Roy ) started timidly but improved his game starting midway last season while Alridge struggled and showed his real game only at the last quarter of the season. Some Raptors fans, and definitely those in Portland, said that the Texas native is the more versatile and far effective guy. The same views as Bargnani's teammate and fellow Texan , Chris Bosh, had before the '07 drafting began . Let's take a look at the long tape ( both are nearly 7 feet tall ) of each player including their pre season stats to date :

LaMarcus Alridge Andrea Bargnani

6'11'', 211 lbs.
19.5 ppg
6.8 rpg
1.8 apg
+20 EFF.

Andrea Bargnani

7'0'' , 250 lbs.
15.0 ppg
5.2 rpg
1.0 apg
14 EFF.

Interesting how their stats are almost the same even up to now going to the 2007-08 season.However , I give my vote to Andrea Bargnani to come up ahead again this year because Alridge is reportedly injured (toe) early this season . Bargnani will continue to develop his game unhampered. Like he continued to develop his hairdo !

It's Just Money Being Money.

2007-10-19T14:13:00.000-04:00

My fav baseball team,the Boston Red Sox, won last night to extend their series versus the Cleveland Indians (series now stands at 3-2). Good for Bosox fans especially Manny Ramirez'. Ramirez was the subject of criticisms by some , or is it many , when he said a after game 4 loss that brought his team on the brink of elimination and another championshipless season ' if it does'nt happen, so who cares . Sound uncaring ? No . It's just typical Manny His fans know that come game time , Manny is all business. It's just Manny being Manny as they say in Boston. I just hope the Raptors have somebody as colorful and as great as Manny. Not a bunch of bland players playing a bland kind of basketball. It was a far cry from the days of Vince Carter , Charles Oakley , Muggsy Bouges and Junkyard Dog to mention a few of ex Raptors crowd pleasers on and off the court. So Raptors' fans who continue to wonder why the team is not in TNT/ESPN/NBA TV more than the customary intro game a season . Simple .The producers of these stations need to put up games that interests the most numbers of basketball fans . Stateside fans specifically . They do not really care about Bargnani or Bosh until they become household names in the US not Canada . Do you see commercials featuring these 2 by Nike or Mc Donalds ? Not even the local Tim Horton get them to push it's doughnuts . And dought is what makes the NBA go 'round like a basketball. Yes sir . it's still money being money !

Keon Clark : Maybe I should play again for the Raptors. Afterall , I am a household name now.......in the criminal household !.

The Raps' 3 J's In Small Forward Position - Joey, Jason And Jailfino !

2007-10-17T07:38:00.000-04:00

With the departure of Mo Pete and the newfound vigor of contract year Joey Graham , coach Sam Mitchell found a new jailbird in Carlos Jailfino . Delfino will find himself in the doghouse for sure based on Sam's statement made public to the press. ' Right now, based on the practices , Delfino has to pick it up ' he said. ' With Joey and Jason , I thought they have been working hard ' Uh oh , conclusion is that Delfino is not working hard ! That's Sam's way of catching the attention of underperforming players of his. Too bad for Delfino who don't know how Sam's punishment syatem works. Graham took more 2 years to regain Sam's confidence in him again. Andrea Bargani took the GM's intervention to play with confidence after the benching from Sam. Mo Pete took his bag and went away to another team !
Carlos Delfino is counting on a good year with the Raps to stay in the major league. Delfino said of his trade from Detroit to TO ' If I stayed with the Pistons , I am sure it would have been my last NBA season ' . Guess what Carlos , get your ticket for your return to Europe or wherever you see yourself playing next. You will have a hard time breaking the Joey then Jason (or vice versa) fielding rotation of Sam now that he voiced his choices for the small forward position. The remaining playing time after the 2 Js will be negligible this year. Joey G. will be playing extra hard (and consistent ?) this being his contract year. Jason Kapono , with his enormous contract , wil play extra hard because he does'nt want to end up like ex Raptor Rafael Araujo. Yes , that Hoffa who was since released by the Jazz (to Russia) after being jettisoned by the Raps to the land of the Morons ...err...Mormons. 'The problem with Hoffa's situ in TO was that he was drafted too high (#6) ' said countryman and Cavalier Andy Varejao. Really ? I've always thought that the problem was that Rob Babcock's basketball IQ is too low !

Jailpino : I am in Sam's jailhouse ?
Will I get to wear this uniform ?

Killing Me Softly With Your Game .

2007-10-15T11:50:00.000-04:00

Recenttly , the words coming out of the mouth of the Raptors main men-coach Sam Mitchell and Chris Bosh- relayed one thing to the team : we are soft. Ultra soft. No matter how they tried to masked their message with such words as we need to be tough and we must be aggressive , the meaning is the same. What the hell can't these 2 be more honest and direct. My peewee basketball coach was more forceful tham them ! He would say ' let's kill our opponents or take no prisoners , boys '. We understood what we need to do. One reason for the team's softness is the departure of the team's Ironman, Morris Peterson. Mo Pete was replaced by Jason Kapono and/or Delfino in the lineup .Why oh why,B.C. ? The guy is fearless . My Gosh , he even has skeletor as his shopping buddy !
If the Raptors think that this coming season will be a walk in the park, they are deadly wrong. Maybe a walk in the park located in Killadelphia . Talking of Philadelphia , the 76ers , considered the weakest in the Atlantic Division, are definitely tougher than Toronto .Do you know why ? The 76ers have no Europeans ! No Vlade Divac clones. The ex Laker,ex King was ex cellent in flopping.' That is what Europeans considered good defense. ' said one NBA player critical of Divac's constant flopping . Not only that they flop , the Euros are whiners , no , make that cryers . See how Utah's Andrei Kirilenko cried in front of millions of TV viewers. So to B.C., no more Europeans if you want your team to be tough. Unless they are from Queenstown. No , not in Europe , but in Queenstown , Philadelphia ! !

Real Madrid Loss Exposes Raps' Real Problems !

2007-10-13T11:27:00.000-04:00

Yes the Raptors lost to the Boston Celtics too in the opener of the NBA Europe Live but coach Sam Mitchell was not as livid as after Thursday's debacle against a Euro basketball team, Real Madrid. You better believe it. Sam's frustration was real. It was very evident after that last sec turnover by TJ Ford. 'B u l l s h i t ' shouted the Raps' coach. 'Ole,ole,ole' answered the crowd.

1. Jason Kapono . The big acquisition this summer by B.C. is a big dud. JK failed to register double digits in 3 games to match his double figure salary ($24 mil/3 yrs.). In fact, Sam has demoted the 3 point shooting King of the NBA from the starting 5 in the RM's game after starting Kapono vs. the Cs. Jason should cut down on his gondolaing and buckle down to the business of basketball! . How about shooting baskets instead of pictures, Jason ?

2. Big forward is still a big problem. Maceo Baston ,the 6'9'' transferee from the Pacers , failed to suit up except in the closing mins. of the game vs. Boston. I got the feeling Sam fielded Baston in this game only as a joke to his GM. You know .Baston vs. Boston .

3. 'Soft' tag. Sam said after the game ' no one wants to do the dirty work and that he needs a tough guy . This is definitely a problem if the coach is tougher than all it's players combined. Player Sam once challenged Charles Barkley to a fisticuff in the parking lot (Charles wisely did not show up).'Sam lasted 11 years in the NBA doing the dirty work' said NBA TV's Rick Kamla. And I don't mean collecting Kevin Garnet's soiled clothes.

4. Raptors' bench is deep ? Before the start of these pre season games , most Raps' fans and TO sportwriters felt that the team's bench is at least 10 man deep. It appears now , that the team is in deep.....deep trouble . If B.C. continues to posture in his GQ attire , the Raptors will be DQ'd come playoff time !

B.C.: Posturing ! Who's posturing ?
I'm standing like this 'cuz my right leg
is shorter than my left leg !

Andrea The Giant.

2007-10-11T12:13:00.000-04:00

Did you see Andrea Bargnani lately ? Andrea noticeably added more pounds this off season. 'Bargnani is more suited now to play center (?) with the extra weight ' said one in the Raps'ors' camp. Andrea added 10-15 pounds to his 7'0'' frame . He is now between 255-258 lbs. (see before and after pics below) .Not exactly like the late wrestler Andre The Giant , who was 500 pounds but bulky nevertheless. Why not? Sam seems determined to put him(Andrea) in the starting 5 in place of the velocity challenged Rasho Nestorovich. " I will start and play whoever is suited ' said coach Mitchell when asked why he put Bargnani to start the game versus Boston in Rome. 'It's like the last playoff (vs. New Jersey) , I did not play Rasho because it was not right ' added Sam. But Andrea is still the smooth shooter that he is.His stroke from the 3 pt. line is still deadly.
Andrea seems determined to collar more rebounds this coming NBA season. The Italian cager also said that he aims also to improve his defense especially against the big guys in the NBA. In other words , Andrea will no longer be a pushover. It might be recalled that early in his rookie year , King Raptor Chris Bosh berated Andrea in front of TV viewers and those in the Golden State arena when the smaller then Warrior Ike Diogu (6'8''/250 lbs.) repeatedly outpositioned and outrebounded him.No more of that , Ike . Andrea is a bigger ass than you now... I mean , Andrea's ass is bigger than yours now !

Ike : That's what you think, Andrea.
My ass become even bigger last season
sitting on the Pacers' bench !

Raptors ToDie !

2007-10-10T08:29:00.000-04:00

Here we go again. The start of mediocrity. The Raptors Today show on Raptors TV is as bad as usual. No, make that worser. The set is migraine inducing and shouts of overacting. That set really has one message to viewers . Our host Paul Johnson and analyst Sherman Hamilton are substandard so don't mind 'em . Look at all those moving lights ! Like they say in school - ' If you're report lacks substance , don't worry . Dazzle them with your b.s '. Analyst Sherman Hamilton has a face made for radio. Don't you guys at Raptors TV know that ! Spare Sherm the humiliation . Spare us viewers the perspiration. It's good if the guy has high basketball credentials. Sherm is a Canadian college player. Absolutely no NBA experience.In the Raps vs. Lottomica game , Raptors TV supplanted ESPN's halftime coverage with Sherm's dissection of the game . Nice . ESPN respected basketball Analyst Hubie Brown out and in came Raptors TV Anal yst or is it Analess ? That brings me to an incident that happenned in last season's playoff coverage. A viewer asked Paul this ,' Why can't we show ESPN's coverage of the Raptors game ? Paul's answer : ' because you are in Canada !

If Raptors TV really cares about it's viewers , it should at least upgrade the basketball panel.What is the importance of getting a bonafide basketball Analyst ? Take the same game held in Rome,Italy. ESPN's Brown gave vewers an insight of how Lotto's 36 years old center was giving the Raps' big men a challenge in the middle. ' G.Fucha was a legit center/forward once upon a time- can shoot the mid range shot and take it to the basket ' Brown said of the Lotto cager who was in the US as a young man years ago. Insights like this is important. The long time coach in the NBA surely scouted the beanpole numerous time for his NBA team(s). Tidbits like these are missing in the Raptors coverage of the NBA games because we are in Canada !.

Hubie: I have a face not made for HDTV !

So You Think You Can Dunk , Europe ?

2007-10-08T11:50:00.000-04:00

The news lately is that Europe is 'hot' to enter the NBA World. Last week , ESPN reported that ex NBAer Vlade Divac met with Com. David Stern to discuss such possibility. It's not like an NBA Euro thing is not in the mind of the league since the NBA started participating in the NBA-Mc Donalds mini tournaments many years ago . Stern is just waiting for the right time. He does'nt want to suffer the rough start that Disneyland Europe in France experienced i n '92. Disney Euro ? Yes, the giant fun business that Mickey Mouse built . Stern believes that the NBA must be sold as a mix of entertainment and sports. Hear that , hockey guys in Canada. Some puckheads want to push the NHL in Europe. ' In as much as the game continues to fail to catch the fancy of the Americans , the league should instead go to London or Stockholm (Sweden) ' one announcer in Primetime Sports last week. Maybe . Hockey is not much of a sport but it sure has built in violence. Only here in Canada , we just don't call it hooliganism. Just hockey fights !

I'm not sure the US formula (mix of fun and ball) is good in Europe. In Germany,England and Spain , that's teaching the kids to participate in hooliganism . What kind of mascots will Euro teams have ? The murdering London (Jack D) Rippers ? The Jew hating Munich Nazis ? Don't forget the blood thirsty Rumanian Draculas .What will happen if the Chicago Bulls face the Barcelona Matadors ? No contest . What about the mascot of a free love country like Sweden ? Entertainment there must be something that keeps the body warm if you get my drift. Those halftime stuff of dancing scantily clad cheerleaders won't simply do . Think nude basketball ! I'm not to sure that the mix of fun and ball is a good idea. Let's just stick to basketball , Mr. Stern. Or else you might find yourself imposing disciplinary actions after every single game ! No, not paltry suspensions or fine . More like off with his head !

Howard Stern : I wanna be the Commisioner Of NBA Europe. Commisioner Stern !

Boston Plays Hard , Whips Toronto , Wins NBA Championsh......

2007-10-07T01:16:00.000-04:00

Not so fast. The 'C's won the pre season opener with a 89-84 victory over the Raptors. The NBAEurope game opened with a big bang with the sellout crowd of 11,000 filling the stadium at Rome, Italy. It was not your typical pre season game. There were of joy and excitement from both teams. In fact , both coaches satisfied the fans by playing their respective stars longer than normal for a pre season game.Good for the paying public. Anyway , here are some notable observations :

1. the stadium the 2 teams played does'nt have a Jumbotron or Gigante screen hanging in the roof to watch the replays of spectacular plays.

2. one has to take a flight of stairs to reach the locker rooms. For the losing team , that's like climbing a mountain !

3. the Celts Big Baby Davis has tiny ears for such a huge man .No wonder , Big Baby got hit by a car in Rome. The guy has difficulty hearing the beep beep of the car with those baby ears !

4. the Raps' rookie Jamario Moon showed his extraordinary vertical jump in at least 2 plays yeaterday. It's like Moon can reach the moon with his jumping ability.

5. I doubt if Celtics guard Rondo (4 pts./25 mins) can hold on to the starting PG position. Wait , the Cs traded or waived all their other point guards ( Telfair, West and Ray). But they still have solid PGs in the person of GM Danny Ainge and coach Doc Rivers . If the 2 play , will they count against the team's salary cap ? Just askin.

6. Joey Graham proclaimed earlier that this will be his breakout season. That's if Sam let Joey break out a sweat first . The guy played 14 mins only and intermittently at that in this game !

7. All things Italian were given louder applause than normal in the intro. Native son Andrea Bargnani , Garbajosa (played for Benneton ) and even coach Sam Mitchell ( in his customary Italian suit ). Wonder why Brian Scalibrine did'nt get one. Have'nt they've heard of the curly blond or red haired Italian boy ! Think Sonny Corleone (James Caan) of the Godfather fame

No Mas Thomas !

2007-10-02T14:31:00.000-04:00

It's all over. The case versus Knicks' coach Isiah Thomas and Madison Square Garden is finally over. The jury agreed that Thomas (1) and his employer -Madison Square Garden - are guilty of sexually harassing Anucha Brown. The other Brown (deposed NY coach- Larry Brown ) must be laughing at the outcome. The decision came a few days after US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas came out on Nightline to promote his memoirs, My Grandfather's Son . One would remember Thomas (2) was accused by a court clerk , Anita Hill who he claimed was a mediocre employee just like Anucha according to MSG . Thomas (2) survived the sexual harassment charge and went on to be confirmed . So let's go play real ball said the Knicks fans. No mas . Enuff already . All is resolved .Isiah lost , MSG lost , Britney lost !
Isiah Thomas should come out of this 'bump in the road' stronger. After all , Thomas (1) has been through numerous bumps on his way to his present position. Let's cite some of 'em 1) Larry Bird - if Bird is white,he's just an ordinary player-brouhaha 2) the Raptors ownership battle 3) NBL bankruptcy . Then there were the lesser ones like the MJ freezin' and Magic's holin' ! Thomas (1) came out of each episode fighting. Thomas (1) is a survivor. The guy was known during his playing days as the Smiling Assasin for nothin.' Clarence Thomas is kinda' different. 'He's still a bitter man' said one African-American journalist on TV last night. Thomas (2) was said to have put a 15 cents tag on his Yale diploma because 'he was not able to get the expected job offers right after graduation like his white classmates did' the jman beffudingly added. So there . One Thomas is bitter and the other one ... better !

Bill : Rookies !

Grading B.C.'s Pre Season Acqusitions .

2007-09-28T15:09:00.001-04:00

The new season is about to begin . So far , Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo's moves to strengten the team failed to pass the grade. B.C. must strenthen the bench instead . Yeah , like put more nails to it as more players will sit on it with their fat asses growing bigger every game . Let's list down B.C's moves : acquired other teams discards- Carlos Delfino from the Pistons and journeyman Maceo Baston from the Pacers , paid a lot of money ( $24M/4 y ) for former Heat Jason Kapono ( while refusing to do the same for long serving Raptor Mo Pete ) , added no name players like Ukic , Prientzis and Moon ( for no game ones like Sow and Slokar) and lastly , resigned vertically and velocity challenged Darrick Martin . Grading these moves , you can say that the current NBA's Executive Of The Year is not smarter than a 5th grader !

Let's examine B.C.'s last signing. I just can't see why Colangelo would want Martin again . The UCLA grad is there only before as Sam's boy (toy) versus possible players' rebellion despite the coach claim for need of his veteran leadership at the point guard position. They say that Martin can continue to guide the young Raptors PGs , TJ Ford and Jose Calderon. Bull. These 2 are not rookies . TJ will now be a 4 year veteran while the 26 years old Jose will be in his 3rd year in the NBA not counting his many years playing overseas as a pro. Besides , I don't think the 2 listen to Martin anyway. Martin is nothing more than a cheerleader on the bench. Everyone knows how the guy claps his hands , give high 5's , and do the rah rah thing. In that case , B.C. should have just appointed DMart as Dino's ( Raptors' mascot) sidekick. Like Barney Ruble of the Flintstones. The 15th slot in the team should have been given to a Canadian baller. Yeah , B.C . Letting go of DMart is the SMart thing to do !

B.C.: Hmm . Maybe I should have just added this guy to put the Raptors over the (carrot) top !